Slumberland

nostalgia

2011-02-10T01:54:00.003+08:00

i almost forgot about this place

when i started reading old emails i kept

looking at old things i wrote

made me really miss this place.

this place where i guess

i could, partially

pour my heart out.

i can't believe how fast the years have gone by

and so many things have happened

good ones and bad ones.

the good ones will be remembered

and the bad ones will remind me of what to keep guard of.

but i think its making me more and more guarded

the more things just don't go so smoothly

and perhaps it may not be a good thing

but definitely i found a way to move on.

there were things i wished they would move towards another direction

but the fact that they became to what they were today

is just another step for me in the process of growing up

and i believe they made me alot stronger.

blogging overload

2010-11-10T05:18:00.003+08:00

seeing that i have almost 600 posts here in this blog
makes me really sad to say this

but i think i might have to abandon this blog
its so difficult to keep up with so many blogs, twitter and all
i think i might have to give up on this space.

i enjoy reading back on my older entries
laughing at what i once wrote
what i once thought.
and i will continue coming here once in a blue moon
to make sure that they don't delete my blog
so that many years down the road i still can access this page
and see what i have been through
and recall both the good and bad times.

XOXO

2010-10-29T11:00:00.002+08:00

its been 2 months now.
glad its all going well
and i can't wait to walk further with you.

homeSICK.

2010-10-19T15:45:00.003+08:00

i'm really someone who cannot cannot become a housewife
how the hell do you stay at home all day and not feel bored?

today is only day 2 of me staying at home
and i'm already like tossing and turning
and like scurring around being bored. ):
i'm really not the type to stay at home

although my cheeks are puffy and swollen
and i can barely eat or talk
i feel like going out!!

when will you appear, problems?

2010-10-19T01:23:00.002+08:00

i'm not avoiding it this time right
i know the time will come
and i'm facing it this time
instead of always letting the issue go
and the problem will still remain there.

i'm all ready!
come at me!

wisdom tooth operation after thoughts.

2010-10-18T16:38:00.002+08:00

today was a life-time experience for me
don't think i will ever forget the whole process
of going there with a heavy heart
then signing papers
hearing them tell you all the risks
which isn't very pleasant and gets you even more worried
then changed into this gown that makes you even colder
then they make you wait and wait
and finally when its your turn
its like the feeling of walking to your own death door
you walk into the operating theatre
lie on this metal looking bed
which made it seem like you were about to be cut up into many pieces

then they injected the needle into my vein
which was a mild pinch
but that's the the worst
they make you smell oxygen
WHICH I THOUGHT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SWEET SMELLING
but it STINKKKSSSS!
and i was about to like choke and cough
then i concussed.

the next thing i knew i was outside the theatre already
and i was crying profusely.
either because it was traumatising or relieving
or there was this BIG pain on my upper left
i just couldn't stop crying for quite awhile.

i think i was just outside the theatre for 15 min or so
then they pushed me back to the first room i went to.
i stayed there with only curtains as separators
from this NOISY kid that keeps crying and crying
and shouts "i want to go home"
SO DO I LA. omg.
i looked around and found a clock
it says 10 plus blurryly without my specs
then i signaled the nurse to call my dad
then she was like, yes i will soon.
5 min later i heard her talking on the phone with my dad
saying that he can come at 1230
1230?!?!
i have no idea why so late because my then i was so bloody awake!!
and they told me before the op
that i couldn't operate any machine these two days
meaning like... WASHING MACHINES.
i wasn't even dizzy at all
and when my dad came i was so awake already.
i wanted to get my butt off the bed and get going.

when my dad came like finally
after falling in and out of sleep for like 2 hours
the nurse was like asking me to wait for my dad to hold me so i could go toilet and stuff
i was so NOT dizzy and awake
that i just went ahead
got changed, went out to find my dad.

its been quite a journey in the first half of today
if anyone is now scared to do wisdom tooth op
don't be
because i believe these kind of things are for life
why not do it now when it heals faster yea?
HAHA.

2010-10-17T02:31:00.002+08:00

everytime i thought i was so sick of the discipline
just so tired from all that it requires
and i thought my passion died
but everytime i step foot onto the stage
the fire sort of renews in my heart.

i love dancing.

will i continue dancing?
will i never stop?

where have you gone, my ambitious side.

2010-10-14T02:49:00.002+08:00

i miss the ambitious part of me
kind of lost it along the way

i remembered how much i put my heart and soul into one goal
and when i could attain that goal
it was such a good feeling
that kind of feeling cannot be fully explained in words
its the kind where you feel so proud of yourself
and overjoyed and excited that it can make you just tear.

if i closed my eyes now i recall the scenes
at the competition arena on the finals
and on the stage after the concert
those two moments still seem so fresh.
its always those times
when i thought our goals will be so difficult to reach
and yet we did, that makes me so emotional.

its that passion and determination that i have lost over the years
i want to find it back.

its happening to my dance passion now
i start to dread the discipline it requires
but whenever i do dance and when there's an audience
my passion renews
but whether strong enough for me to take action in the future
is the question.

will i get to continue something i so love in the future
is dependent on this thing i call passion and how much it burns.

2010-10-13T23:31:00.002+08:00

for all my dearest friends
who are feeling the blues these days
please hold on.

because i know how you feel
and i'm holding on.

you make me smile. thank you.

2010-10-13T01:12:00.003+08:00

don't everyone like surprises?
whether it really came as a surprise or not
in knowing that someone wanted to give you a surprise
it gives such a heartwarming feeling

it shows how much that someone
wants to make you happy
and that someone can find joy in yours.

cjgym

2010-10-08T16:42:00.003+08:00

i suddenly chance upon a video my project group made in jc
and it was quite funny and very memorable watching it.
then i started looking at old videos that i made
and it made me miss the old times in jc so much.

i remembered all that hard work
all those sweat and tears
its amazing how many things we can go through in our lives.
i missed the times we laughed at our own jokes
where we could just think of nothing else but gym
where our lives practically revolved around it
and yet we didn't get tired of it.
i missed the times when we had such a strong goal together
we knew what we were striving for
and we were working hard together towards that
and when we achieved it
it was so emotional
not in the bad sense, but it was such a fufilling experience
and to have such friends with me on this journey makes it even better.

not that the things i have now are not fulfilling
but those days really brought the best out of me
and even though its been 5 years now
it is still fresh in my mind like it was only yesterday.
there were things i have left behind
but this is one thing that i'll bring with me for the rest of my life
and i mean it.

school school school.

2010-10-08T06:14:00.002+08:00

however much i hate school
however much i hate readings
everytime i finish an assignment, no matter the scale
it feels so good
and there's just no other way to describe it.

though i hate school
i don't really want it to end either.
i'm just this fickle-minded creature who just wants to bump around
but i know its impossible
so get your butt off your comfort zone and get working michele!

2010-10-04T01:29:00.002+08:00

there's so much on my mind
but no one to turn to
really no one.

i can't tell you
because i don't want to add anything more to your stress levels
i feel like i can't tell my friends
i just can't open my mouth to say it.

i feel like i'm stuck in this corner that no one knows i'm hiding in
because i duplicate one part of me
and put it in the world out there
that no one realises that a part of me is missing.

there can only be something good when there's something bad.

2010-10-01T12:14:00.003+08:00

yesterday i was so damn frustrated with this project
i almost cried, almost.
its so frustrating because everytime i think of something
i imagine my tutor totally crashing my idea.

but of course that's not all lately.
there were good moments (:

just a few days ago
went to brussel sprouts.
mussel, crepe and fruit beers.
gifts, hugs and love.
it feels like its been so long
but when i think about it its only been a month!
the amazing qualities of time.

found chat logs between us yesterday
and it dates back to sept2006
can't believe i don't have a single memory of those conversations we had
but its nice to know now that we did (:
i'm wondering what you thought of me then
as what kind of relationship you thought was possible then
and that makes me think that maybe,
just maybe, everything was fated to be.

29

2010-09-21T04:54:00.000+08:00

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back.

2010-09-10T11:37:00.002+08:00

its been so long since i've even read this blog
that i forgot that to update it i'm supposed to go blogger.com
and not blogspot.com!!

i'm considering abandoning this and moving to tumblr
since its the more popular choice these days.
but somehow this blog gives me so much memories.
its been 2006 since i posted things here
and to see how much i have grown since 2006
is amazing...

its not about reading the past and knowing the past
its about knowing what you thought about then, in the past.
sometimes childish, sometimes reflecting what i have now.
and they all make up what i am today.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

my last post was on 14th may this year
though its been only 4 months ago
i feel like so many things have happened since then.
being the vacation period, i went to so many places
seen so many things, know so many new people
and know one new person that i'm never going to forget.

this person changed my perspectives
there was something i didn't believe in anymore
but he made me believe in it all over again.

for someone to change my determined perspectives
means breaking down the walls that i have built for years
and allowing both the wonderful and the hurt to come in
but i have realised that without letting the hurt to enter
i can never get out of the previous place i was stuck in.
and i'm glad i realised that now.

blogs blogs blogs.

2010-05-14T23:36:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i ever posted anything here

i just feel that ts become abit childish and unnecessary to "report" my life over here.
it becomes a feeling that i'm always being checked
and not a space to feel relieved and to speak honestly.

i start to wonder what blogs are for in the end
i mean personal blogs that say daily happenings and not blogshops.

i guess its one way someone could find out what's happening to you
but if that someone was your friend it would be nicer if he/she could give you a call instead
or chat over msn
rather then find out and gossip about you at places where you can't hear.
i don't know.

i guess people change, mentalities along with it.

i don't want to be your star.

2010-03-07T01:04:00.001+08:00

城市裡小星星稀疏的亮晶晶
太多光吃掉他們的身影
就像我愛上你隱沒在燈海裡
你眼中只看繁華的夜景

我的愛藏在你的背影裡
像渺小卻堅定的恆星

天黑的時候我遠遠陪著你
再小的閃爍也努力放光明
當有天我在夜空裡面偶爾被發現
希望我眨眼能感動你視線

想把小星星排成愛的圖形
為你的天空點綴一些驚奇
即使像流星一閃而過寂寞也情願
不求你看見只想為你發光永遠＊

雨天裡小星星孤單的濕淋淋
你躲在有人陪伴的傘底
就像我總被你遺忘在晴空裡
月光下才有機會想念你

i don't want to go unnoticed by you
i want to walk by you
and not behind you
only watching the shadows as you walk by.

maybe i'm just being a bitch.

2010-02-05T03:24:00.003+08:00

i've been offended by you in many ways
and maybe you don't give a shit about this friendship
but i did and i thought that you did too
but maybe i was wrong

maybe tonight is a bad night
maybe tonight it was hot stuffy and sleepy
but still, i'm glad i got off
i'm glad i got off from your sincere complaints
i'm glad i got off from my burden that i have to be grateful to you.

i know what it feels like
especially when you personally is very tired and had a long day yourself
but then, if unwilling,
i'd rather you be like someone else and not offer in the first place
instead of complaining the moment we got on
and it gets worse and worse.

i'm sorry, but i couldn't take it tonight
whether tonight or in the future, you don't have to offer anymore.
i think that way, it will be better for you and for me.

you can fucking stop being so authoritative towards us as well
or else i can see this friendship dwindling after 4 years
and maybe you don't give a shit
and if you can't even bother to give a shit, why should i.

tick tock tick tock.

2010-01-31T23:20:00.003+08:00

its been about a month since the year has started
only about 3 weeks since school has started and i feel the pressure already
concert is about 5 weeks away
and as every practice pass by i feel like there's no more space to breathe.

with all these filling my thoughts every single day
i count down to those holidays that seem so near yet so far.

with all the 21st birthdays recently
i'm starting to think of my own
which, luckily is still almost a year away.
i have some general ideas but still don't know whether to have a theme or not
after all the themed birthdays that everyone goes to in this year
maybe having a themeless birthday would be a better idea.
oh wells. i still have time.
we'll see (:

a new year, another fresh start.

2010-01-07T14:20:00.003+08:00

holidays is coming to an end
and as always
it feels like it went by in a few seconds just like that
not really excited about school this upcoming semester
and there's alot of things for me to finish up
things that i haven't even started on. ):

many things has happened in this holidays
camp, birthday, phuket, nye...

and as a new year wish...
i wish some things will continue as we grow
wish that people won't drift apart as we go onto different stages of life
because however annoying they are
i know (i hope) they are friends i can trust.

my secret whispers

2010-01-04T01:35:00.001+08:00

sometimes i feel like i have so many things to say
but no one to say to
no one appropriate to say to
sometimes i even think blogging is no longer a way out

people are missing, leaving, gone
who can i tell?

synergy dance camp 2009

2009-12-12T19:39:00.002+08:00

there's so many thoughts going through my head now at the same time
there's so many things i want to say
but don't know where to begin.

first, i'm so glad that camp is finally over
and that it was a success.
although there were hiccups here and there
i felt that it was deserving of a celebration
its really heartwarming
when you try to pass on a tradition in synergy that we all treasure together.
and most important, i had loads of fun and laughter
be it weivien's haha game, ethelyn recognisable-anywhere high pitch laughter or
jasmine's scrunched up nose laughter
i enjoyed it.
though its good that its over, i will also miss those times.

for the last 4 days i felt so out of this world
there was no sense of time or day
only with a sense of our muscles and aches
as we walked between the hall and the dance studios
rushing in the morning when breakfast arrived
rushing till late for whatever hits us the next day
its as if all we could and needed to think of was about the camp
as if the usual life was thrown out the window for 4 days

knowing that for the last 5 days
my life consisted of company every minute
it makes my current life,
being alone at home so dull and quiet.
and suddenly the life that i had for the last 20 years seem unusual.

thinking about the next 2 weeks
its pretty exciting and i can't wait to get started
after regaining my pace after a good sleep.

now my contact lens are dry
i'm sandy and dirty and oily
and both physically and mentally tired
i'll come back soon.

kim jeong hoon

2009-11-30T01:57:00.002+08:00

sorry i couldn't help it but post a picture of him. HAHA.
for the last few days, i've been mesmerized by him
i downloaded tons of his songs. ahaha.

guess what, he's not only good looking
he's smart too! he went like college of dentistry.
the world is so unfair!
HAHA.

hurry hurry!!

2009-11-30T01:21:00.002+08:00

almost there!
one more tmr, one more wednesday
and i'm free till 11th january.
sounds really short especially after the previous 3 months long holiday.

but looking at all the things i have to do during holiday
its rather depressing that i don't have time to rest
but oh wells, i've always been like that anyways.

a night of stupidity

2009-11-28T03:30:00.001+08:00

thank you friends
i don't know what i would do without you people.
i feel better already.

why do i do such things.

2009-11-28T02:13:00.000+08:00

i hate myself when i do this sort of stupid things
which idiot who have been driving for a year for now
will hit down a barrier
i think i'm made to be a trouble maker.

i wonder if anyone knows.
i just need a reassuring hug now, badly.

twilight/new moon

2009-11-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

i loved the show!
i love a good romance any day (:

my friend, starbucks.

2009-11-25T00:50:00.002+08:00

somehow i like spending time alone at starbucks
i have no idea why
cause i don't usually like to be alone.

don't know how long i can keep this up.

2009-11-24T00:34:00.002+08:00

its getting rather tiring
the first thing i think of when i wake up is
what i need to study, when i should start studying
when i'm taking a break from my studies i feel guilty
i feel like i should get back to my books asap
when i'm about to sleep
i need to plan what to bring out to study the next day
what i should aim to accomplish
and throughout the entire day
my brain relates everything to the information that i've been squeezing in it
like even things that have no link at all
the things just keep running all over and over again
like some broken tape recorder that keeps skipping
and you cannot hear anything clearly but its creating noise.

and everyday
i'm wishing i would wake up to 2nd december.

exams all over again.

2009-11-18T03:37:00.001+08:00

i'm becoming very fidgety now that i feel the pressure
between the exams and the readings that i haven't done

its not a good feeling
but at least i feel the need to push on.

maybe one day...

2009-11-18T00:38:00.001+08:00

survivor

2009-11-16T04:47:00.003+08:00

there's one challenge in the 5th episode of survivor samoa
that i might just win

they have like smoothie blend of like things such as jellyfish, octopus, clams... and though some raw. YUMMMMM (:
sometimes these american shows just make the singapore diet so exotic. HAHA.

fidgety

2009-11-10T22:46:00.002+08:00

i have no idea why i detest being at home the entire day

it just makes it seem that i have accomplished nothing
like i'm slacking around
and there's no one to talk to unless you include typing into my computer
i feel lethargic the whole day
and am unable to garner any motivation

i'm just meant for the outdoors.

i miss those times, badly.

2009-11-07T00:18:00.002+08:00

thinking about all the gymmers coming back together tomorrow
makes me feel very comforted
knowing that our friendship's still going strong. (:

x factor

2009-11-05T15:37:00.000+08:00

my favorite performance so far.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsAMrAXaEAk

and i thought sleeping was my forte.

2009-11-05T13:51:00.002+08:00

today is the first day, in a very long time, that i wanted to sleep more
so i set my alarm like for 10 hours after i slept
thinking that i can cover back all the hours i missed for like months.

and then at about 1 o'clock today
i got woken up by a HUGE THUNDERSTORM, celeste's call, 9 message
which i didn't hear the messages but when i got woken up by this huge thunder,
i started messaging
the more i message the more awake i got. ):
i felt stupid for lying in bed wide awake.

so there goes my long sleep.

photographic memory

2009-11-01T23:22:00.002+08:00

if you have the time
go watch derren brown trick or treat series 2 ep 2
its going to be shocking to know especially for students like me

you feel like all the books you have in school is overwhelming you
and you memorise so hard everyday
readings and re-readings, trying to absorb as much information as you possibly can
and then you find out that there's another way to this.

just wish i could do it to.
you'll find me playing now if i could.

dark

2009-10-31T18:08:00.003+08:00

its a gloomy day for me

rain is pouring just outside my window
heavily pushing the glass panels
as i look at the dark skies wondering how it knew how i was feeling
and the wind blew all my papers off the table
to find that i have nothing but papers all over
picking them up one by one as the every second ticks by
realising that i have not much time in the day
the day that i did not spend fruitfully
unlike how i would like to
but i know i have to.

sister's keeper

2009-10-29T01:07:00.004+08:00

go catch my sister's keeper if you have the chance to
it was exceptionally good and touching

its not that fact that someone was dying that made it sad
it was the fact that there was more to life then death
there was so much support and love
there were the warm tears and also the contented smiles

its not that we can ever accept death
no one can ever accept death of a love one
but its about the things you do in life that makes a difference
its the things that you do with ever breath that we take that makes a mark
death does not do anything, it cannot create anymore stories
but the living can.

if only i truly realise that.

2009-10-25T00:17:00.001+08:00

tonight is so not studying night
i can't concentrate at all, this sucks

contagious

2009-10-24T01:19:00.001+08:00

i feel sad when my friends are sad
so dear friends, please don't be sad.

maybe one day i will feel the same
at that time, please be by my side.
thanks.

2009-10-20T00:33:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w-ocLJuHRA

falling down only makes one stronger after they have picked themselves back up on their feet.

Dick & Rick Hoyt

2009-10-18T18:00:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM

this video has probably been shown 10000000 over times in blogs, papers, website.
but so as long its a good thing, i want to share with my friends (:

when Dick (Rick's father) says that anything is possible and nothing is impossible
he means it.
unlike 10000 over other people who says it to you, he really means it.
he's really an inspiration.

just too bored huh.

2009-10-18T01:00:00.001+08:00

back at starbucks with my favorite tumbler.

2009-10-17T18:54:00.002+08:00

i like watching people become successful or recognized
it makes me feel that dreams do come true.

2009-10-16T02:14:00.002+08:00

wala was fun with a rowdy and retarded group

i have no idea why we don't ever make a serious/non-retarded conversation
but bottom line is that we don't need to i guess.

starbucks

2009-10-15T05:48:00.004+08:00

it feels good to accomplish some substantial studies after a long time
but the process is always painful.

p.s. i got my own tumbler.
wanted to get one since forever (:

Here I Am

2009-10-14T14:54:00.005+08:00

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptyness

You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

yr2sem1 is ending!

2009-10-13T13:01:00.003+08:00

i have 1 week to write 2000 words.
and another 2 weeks to write 10 pages
and another 3 weeks to write ANOTHER 10 pages.

i'm still wondering how i'll survive.
wish me luck.

2009-10-11T01:24:00.001+08:00

Love is like standing on wet cement, the longer you stay the harder it is to leave.
and you can never go without leaving your prints behind.

that's me

2009-10-04T13:08:00.004+08:00

i'm glad that when i look back at my life
i won't go "what was i doing then"

at every stage of my life i tried to make myself as busy
i have no idea why i keep doing that
at every point, i feel like i'm juggling so many things
and at that moment, i feel that i cannot even take a breather for i'm afraid i may fail

but its these busy moments that i treasure the most
and everytime i tell myself "i'm not doing that again"
i find myself back at square one all over again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

actually i think what's makes me do them all over again
is the people
its the company that pulls me and drags me through all those tough times
its the friendships i have forged along the way
even if they are left behind when a new stage starts
they are never forgotten
when i say never, i mean it.

i'm going to bring all these friendships, experiences with me through life
it's going to remind me to buck up, to learn more, to do more, to suffer more
to get more in the end.

thermocouple@live.com

2009-09-29T12:32:00.005+08:00

this was a very weird conversation that i had with this person who probably got my email through fb and added me on msn, which i don't remember accepting.

but anyways, he tried to make a conversation with me, WHICH FAILED TERRIBLY. ahahaha.

have a laugh

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To: thermocouple@live.com
Start Time: 12:17:34 PM; End Time: 12:25:26 PM

thermo says: (12:17:35 PM)

thermo says: (12:17:40 PM)

i m sad

thermo says: (12:17:41 PM)

i lost my hp

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:17:57 PM)

hi sorry ah

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:02 PM)

who is this ah?

thermo says: (12:18:18 PM)

my new hp is 90660155

thermo says: (12:18:20 PM)

i m jo

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:25 PM)

jo?

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:30 PM)

from where?

thermo says: (12:18:36 PM)

sms me

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:38 PM)

...

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:40 PM)

thermo says: (12:18:40 PM)

boss in

thermo says: (12:18:50 PM)

u angry?

thermo says: (12:18:54 PM)

we met

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:18:59 PM)

when?

thermo says: (12:19:20 PM)

few months ago

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:19:25 PM)

where

thermo says: (12:19:31 PM)

st james

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:20:17 PM)

AHAHAHAHAHAH

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:20:22 PM)

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO ST JAMES BEFORE

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:20:31 PM)

YOU SHOULD LEARN MORE ABOUT LYING

thermo says: (12:20:48 PM)

one of the pub la

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:21:01 PM)

which one

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:23:26 PM)

anyways

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:23:34 PM)

your pick up lines are pretty stupid

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:23:39 PM)

please try to learn more from your friends

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:23:50 PM)

cause if you continue to act this way, NO girl will want to talk to you

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:24:01 PM)

and yes, your lying skills are abit lousy as well.

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:24:26 PM)

i have no idea why you are doing this but i think going to the red light district would make a better choice for you

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:24:30 PM)

and yes, i'm going to block you

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:24:37 PM)

thanks for the entertainment.

michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says: (12:24:39 PM)

bye

25th sept 2009

2009-09-26T16:30:00.004+08:00

thanks to alvin, john, teck, xiaoting, terri, esmond, erwin for all coming down yesterday!
as well as chubis who's always so supportive! (:
and also out to celeste and johnkhoo who missed it but thanks for supporting by buying the tickets!

thanks for all the gifts, flowers, sweets, chocolates and notes.
they really make the whole experience much more meaningful!

i hope the 20 dancers had fun the last four days
and that you can proudly say you did your best!
i hope all those who came down had fun watching as well and hope you liked our piece.

THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH.

oh! and i would like to specially thank the commitee for working hard together
and hope we would only bond closer after this event as we have MANY MANY MANY MORE ahead.
AHAHAHA. (:

2009-09-24T01:22:00.003+08:00

i'm pissed off that we are trying so hard to sell them
but the others don't seem to be trying at all
its so frustrating because we don't get to gain anything out of it
and at the end of the day we are still performing for an empty audience.

so those who are free, please come down
dance reflections: body language
25th sept, friday, 8pm
ucc hall
tickets can be bought at sistic.

thanks to those who have already bought them.
hope to see you on friday!

hhhhoooooooooooooooooooooonda.

2009-09-10T17:55:00.000+08:00

went for my first bike practical lesson today
it was fun but had really hot weather today.
its quite a good start to the course (:
had some troubles here and there
especially pulling up the bike to the main stand
didn't think the bike was that heavy 0.0

made some friends here and there,
luckily had two young chinese girls with me too

can't wait to go for my next one, and the next and the next
and get my license!

but all this learning, dance and school is making me really busy
plus all the outings
sighhhhhh.

but at least i feel like i made the best of out these few years (:

2009-09-06T23:36:00.001+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0&feature=fvw
how cool is this man!

hi friends, start volunteering.
AHAHA.

2009-09-06T22:37:00.000+08:00

why do i care when i'm being misunderstood
shouldn't i just believe in what i do
have just abit more faith in myself
abit more faith in the relations that i make

------------------------------------------------------------------

wished someone was there to catch my tears when they fell.

2009-09-05T00:01:00.001+08:00

OMG I PASSED MY PIANO EXAM! WOOHOO!

the maybe's all over again.

2009-08-31T22:49:00.001+08:00

one question i would like to be answered in my life..
is how people decide on something they want to do for life and be so sure about it.
how people choose one person and know that that's the face you would like to see for life
how can people be so sure that the next decision they make is the their future
why so sure
why so confident of the human reasoning that is obviously flawed.

been questioning myself
but i find myself being the only one questioning
the only one lost in those questions
the only one not being able to answer them after years of thought.

having no aim in life
no absolute values
no absolute stand for me to believe in
how do i carry on...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

school's a bitch with all those readings
but i'll conquer them soon enough, i hope.

feverish

2009-08-10T00:23:00.003+08:00

to be sick on the last few days of the holidays is not exactly the best thing to do
staying at home is never my idea of fun
though staying at home for a few days is something i haven't done for ages.
i feel as though sleeping without an alarm the next morning is something that i have been missing out the last few years of my life.

2009-08-05T01:14:00.002+08:00

why can't i be good in something that i do just for once
i feel being tired doing so many things all the time
and not being able to do well in any.

it sucks big time to be half-skilled in everything that i learn
and to fail every time i try or barely scrape through everything that i signed up for.

there's such thing as give and take.

2009-07-09T23:58:00.003+08:00

i can't believe you can pissed about that
its not like i've been asking every other day for like the last 2 months
i just need for that one day, sorry that i didn't know that it will clash with your dates
but like i would have known.
i understand where you are coming from
but you didn't have to give me that attitude.

crazy.

arts camp '09

2009-07-05T02:38:00.002+08:00

arts camp arts camp arts camp arts camp
3rd camp for me and it was a blast.
though it was a pity i didn't get to stay on the whole time
and i didn't come for the last day (which the story is pretty interesting why i did not)
but i still had loads of fun
and though our og was shrinking in size and by the last night we had like 10 freshies
WE HAD AN ENTHU SMALL OG
its not about quantity, its about QUALITY.
teeheeeee.

reading teck's and alvin's notes on fb and all the random comments
made me think back about last year's arts camp
when i was a freshie.
like what teck felt, i felt like backing out last minute
and not being able to be same og with my friend at first was abit dreadful
not knowing anyone
not knowing what we would be doing, how the people would be like
its quite frightening

i still remember
on the first day
everyone was playing some weird game at the hall together (ice-breakers)
when 2 guys came late with damn black faces. AHAHA.
then as the days passed, we got to know each other more and more
to spend 24 hours with each other every day for like 5 nights
is like crash course on learning each other's characters and personalities.
there were people whom i talked less to but ended up closer to in the end
and i thank arts camp for that
because i believe they are the people i will still be talking to at the end of my nus days.

to have only 2-3 hours of sleep every night
and still be able to smile, laugh, shout, cheer the next day
really makes uni life so some easier to swallow.

overdramatic

2009-06-23T15:30:00.003+08:00

watching so many drama shows are influencing my view of love and life
till i'm never satisfied with what i have
trying to make my life as exciting as those storyline written by the imagination
is almost impossible but i just keep trying
and let those small things in my life go unnoticed and taken for granted.

2009-06-22T00:23:00.001+08:00

no michele, don't.

what took you so long

2009-06-12T00:01:00.002+08:00

don't know if i did the right thing
maybe there's no wrong no right
its just how i want it to be
but since i had to make a decision and i chose to follow this road
though rocky but it may lead to a better destination
i had better pull up my socks and get my engine started.

2009-06-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

mixed comments about it
don't know whether to love it or hate it.

run away.

2009-05-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

i quit my job
which means i have more time but less money ):
anyone got events need helpers, call me!!

taiwan soon!
yayyyy. can't wait.
a break from thinking everyday in singapore
AND SHOPPING! my fav.

anyways, just watched this jap drama called zettai kareshi or absolute boyfriend.
if you don't mind jap dramas you should watch this one.
its good (:

doesn't feel like holidays

2009-05-15T14:25:00.003+08:00

don't know why i always do this to myself
i always think i have time and end of piling loads of work on myself
to only find out that i can't cope when it comes.

its not that i can't cope now
or not having enough sleeping with the current workload
but i feel that its a holiday
and school's gonna start real soon (as usual)

plus work is so boring that it becomes a chore
and i wish my boss would think i'm incompetent and fire me
cause i don't really want to be irresponsible and quit like after doing 3 days of work.
why did i even take up this job
HAHA
ask me again and i still don't know the answer
i think i'm suited for some FnB line
can't find any other jobs that i'm having fun while doing it.

oh wells
that's my life for the holidays

2009-05-05T22:41:00.003+08:00

taa; love honghong says:
i must know who im going with
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
you definitely know who you are going with
taa; love honghong says:
still i need to know the name
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
michelle
taa; love honghong says:
of all the ppl going out
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
ya
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
huh?
taa; love honghong says:
who is michelle
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
someone you know?
taa; love honghong says:
no i dont
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
yes you do
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
trust me
taa; love honghong says:
cannot
taa; love honghong says:
scared
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
errrrr
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
i think you punch her she will squeeze your nehneh back?
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
i don't know
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
just come out firstttt
taa; love honghong says:
leong yuanshan
michele [my-enigma.blogspot] says:
AHAHAHAH
taa; love honghong says:
i scared

just one line and can tell that its yuanshan
it says something...

2009-05-04T23:49:00.001+08:00

done done done
so glad its over, sad that i didn't put in as much effort as i could have.
i don't want to see the results.

hope the holidays go well
happy holidays everyone.

てがみ？

2009-05-03T13:48:00.003+08:00

明日は日本語の試験があります。
ことし、いちがつからしがつまでにほんごを習いました。
きょ、私はうちで勉強します。ここれんしゅうします。
大変ですね。
でも明日の試験が一番好きですよ！
そして、試験は明日に終わりました。

私の日本語は上手じゃありませんですから、
明日の試験が大変です。

2009-04-28T23:11:00.003+08:00

three down
three more to do, tomorrow's the fourth.

ele said: "i'm craving for sour cream and onion.
i said: "i'm craving for monday.

just about what's going on now.

2009-04-27T23:26:00.005+08:00

today didn't go as well as i wanted it to.
first it was a damn bloody hot day, i was sweating and sweating in a BLACK POLO TEE
then my sis had to take the car home so i had to take a bus home
and the paper wasn't looking good for me
depending on the bell curve as usual
not doing my best for the next paper in the last 4 hours or so
i wished i love studying.
what a practical wish for once.

on the brighter side,
i'm done with 3
all be over by next monday
and i can not think about books till august.
though i prolly have much more things to think about

anyways, if anyone needs a part timer, so as long the pay's not below 5
any recommendations?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm not going to lie, i was pissed
but i hope it didn't change anything
cause i'm not going to stay pissed forever,
that would be stupid and childish.

at a lost

2009-04-25T14:53:00.003+08:00

i can't imagine how you can be that inconsiderate and not know it.
you can expect me go with you two only
i mean i don't mind going with you two
but can at least find one more person for me
anyone, i'm not even picky la.

i'm not pissed that you called him along
but that you even said that its ok that only we 3 go
i'm already trying my best to find one more to go
but if it ends up no one wants to go i don't know how man
this sucks.

2009-04-20T23:16:00.002+08:00

driving home with a stomache is a traumatising experience
just hope i don't get caught by a speed cam! ):

2009-04-19T17:43:00.002+08:00

while reading an article about married maids in singapore,

"how do you feel rocking your employer's baby to sleep, dreaming about the little boy or girl you left behind in the Philippines?"

RGYM comps '09

2009-04-18T02:07:00.003+08:00

returning after 2 years,
watching them all get nervous
watching them all put on make up
fretting over whether they look good
thinking about their routines over and over again
and all i can do is just be at the corner being really jealous.

i remember those days
its still so vivid
yet so far away
wished i could turn back time.

anyways, CONGRATS TO CJGYM'09!!!
you guys did a damn good job. (:
2nd for team with so many individual medals. WOOTS!
love you guys.
hope you enjoyed yourselves.

2009-04-13T16:35:00.001+08:00

everytime i think about having only 3 months left
my mind thinks of all sorts of things to do.

when i know its home.

2009-04-05T20:02:00.002+08:00

have you ever wondered,
how one estate has so many families, so many people
how one of them may be someone you knew
or someone who you will know in the future
someone who you may be very close to in the future
those faces we walk pass every morning, those people we often see lingering near our houses
its queer how we never say hello, never get to know each other
though we remember their faces better then some other acquaintance.

2009-04-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

why do people cry for love
when its the only thing that has infinite supply in this world.

2009-03-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

my impression is sure changing, for the better.
like in a game, the rules change, the game play has also changed

quiting school sounds good for now.

2009-03-26T21:44:00.006+08:00

almost forgot about school after slacking on mon, tue and wed.
i temporarily put all my school work aside
my mind was all on the stage
our months and months of hardwork was over in an hour
but that hour was good.
we had fullhouse and a waiting list. (:

but it means back to work, which is kinda depressing.
and i hate it how you put me down again and again.

do you see the light like i do?

2009-03-20T00:38:00.004+08:00

dragging and dragging my feet down the tunnel
i can see the light right at the very end
its like a spot, a dot, too tiny to expect for anything
yet its something that causes me to hope for more

so i walk and walk
down the long, wet, dirty tunnel
sweeping the dirty water off my sleeve when it drips from the top
walking more slowly and slowly, losing concentration
losing determination to continue
knees weakening as i take an additional step forward.

unexpectedly, my leg thrust itself into a crack in the flooring
my knee hits the murky water and dig into the mud
my other leg drags forward and with all my might try to pull the other out
instead, my body swings forward with momentum
and my palm smacks right onto the mud stopping my fall

even more slow then ever
i tug my knee out, followed by my feet, my dirtied soles
and finally my filthy hands
straining my back muscles to stand upright

i put one foot forward
staring at the light, breathing deep,
and then continue my dragging.

its just one of those days.

2009-03-18T23:10:00.005+08:00

have you ever felt like you disappointed your parents,
like you didn't do your best
you could have done something better but you didn't
probably blaming yourself for not working hard
for not thinking sensibly when you are already all grown up,
or at least you thought you were.
or maybe you felt that you didn't want to let them down, you wanted to show them only your good side, to find out that you didn't and regretted your actions or behavior in the end.
possibly took many things for granted.
or maybe you felt that you had too many things on hand
wished you didn't act tough in the beginning
wished you were smarter, a genius
wished you were more hardworking
wished you had more determination

i wished and wished and wished, am still wishing, think i'll wish forever...

just having too many bad days in a single week.
i'm not as strong as people think i am.

cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down, sing a sad song just to turn it around.

2009-03-16T16:33:00.002+08:00

today's a really bad one for me

first i woke up at 12, my lesson was at 12.
then i decided that since i'll be too late for lesson,
i wanted to go the doc at yih because my cough is still around after 1 week plus plus.
and on the way get an mc
when i reached the uhwc, it says "WE ARE CLOSED" due to relocation.
on top of that i wanted to book my condo's function room before leaving house but because i was going to the doctor that was being relocated, i did not book it!
and i was super early for my 2 o'clock lesson

@)(#*OI_@)$(IOQLAJSKG!OUQP:LKD

i hate today.

2009-03-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

)@#(*)@(*&$(&#^%$(*#&@)(*!(

MY COUGH IS KILLING ME.

2009-03-15T21:12:00.002+08:00

the moment we obtain happiness
we would always be afraid of losing it - this is an ordinary reaction.

but when this happens, it shows that one is truly happy.

weak

2009-03-11T23:02:00.002+08:00

i'm afraid i'm falling into the same trap as i did last sem
everytime after the midsem break i become restless, no motivation to study
if this continues... oh wells. work is piling up, don't remember one day when i didn't think of the work i have to do.
now i understand what the singapore rat race really means.
maybe i didn't JUST know, but it feels like its getting worse.
but i guess i can't complain, i chose this path, this is what i wanted to do, so stick with it.

today in soci of deviance, the lecturer said this...
"if love was a crime, i would rather be the prisoner in your heart"

らいしょにべんきょします。

2009-02-21T21:27:00.002+08:00

ahhhhh.
i'm starting to procrastinate on FIRST DAY of recess break.
THAT'S GREAT.
i wanted to pull my cap up
with this kind of speed i think i can continue dreaming.

i need someone to pull me out to study
ANYONE WHO WANTS TO STUDY CALL ME!

bother bother bother

2009-02-20T22:16:00.002+08:00

its a rather depressing thought
to feel helpless
to know that i'm prolly not much of a use or more of a bother anyways.
sighhh.

sometimes i feel like a LL
don't understand why everyone just wants to seek approval from another, including me.

bad combination

2009-02-17T01:03:00.002+08:00

i just saw a blue mazda (slightly electric) just beside a comfort taxi in my carpark
and i decided,
never to buy a blue car or a mazda
or worse, BOTH.

v day (:

2009-02-16T16:47:00.002+08:00

valentines day is over. spent it with chubis which was quite a yummy and romantic evening (:

school work is REALLY starting to pile up.
with like 3 mid term papers to finish by next week
which one of it is 2000 words, i'm kinda screwed.
slowly inconfident about jap as time passes. ):
hope i can do well in it so i can complete JAP 4!
and then i can go japan travel!!
rice and teck promised to go with me in year 2010. SO EGGGCITING (:

p.s. xiaoting, if you read this, our july trip better be to the CORRECT DESTINATION ok. don't later last minute change.

Benjamin Buttons

2009-02-10T05:00:00.002+08:00

its a fairy tale - an odd one.
at the same time, its pretty tragic.
tragic to see love ones die one by one
and being the outcast of society, he was slowly losing the people to love
and the people who loved him
being more and more lonely and no one could understand
yet die with the ignorance of a child is bliss.

its not easy to love oneself for who we really are.

2009-02-05T10:40:00.003+08:00

why is saving money so difficult?
i have already stopped most of my shopping, stop eating at restaurants, eat breakfast at home
but my money seems to run away the moment i put them in my wallet.

and lessons beginning to get really dreadful
i have long long days, which i don't know how long i can last going for all of them,
and i'm beginning to lose concentration during lecture, like now.
oh wells.
i remember last sem when i stopped going for 3 lectures.
well done.

not meant to be.

2009-02-03T22:57:00.002+08:00

its been the same
every year - almost.

what am i looking for, why must i, and what's missing?
i've been searching but i never seem to get any answer
seeked last year, but ended up in tears.
float around this year, no luck either.
do i even need it?
maybe its not that essential as i thought it is.
well, by seeing how the last years pass by. i guess its not THAT important

but why do i keep probing into that question?
when i don't get the answers for it anyways.

draft autosaved

2009-01-20T22:20:00.003+08:00

its like a spoilt tape recorder
whenever it feels like it, it skips back right to the start.
there were too many memories, too many smiles, too many tough times
to ever forget.

at first i thought i would
i thought that having so many other things racing in my mind
i would gradually forget
but then every now and then i'm reminded of those memories
there's just so many things that symbolises or can represent the times then.
the events that passed are still fresh and vivid in my mind that it feels like just yesterday.
no matter how busy i am with other things
hanging out with other people, other types of people
somehow it lingers just the back of my mind and whenever i'm zoning out, it floats back to the top

just like the stains on my favourite white shirt, they won't go away.

school life

2009-01-13T01:10:00.005+08:00

its a new year, a new sem
telling myself to go all out this sem to attain what i want
but telling and getting down to doing it is a whole different story
wish me luck.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i like reading people tag my blog
makes me feel loved
makes me feel that people are concerned about what's happening to me.
thank you those who tagged
thanks to those whom i know cares.

no reservations

2009-01-08T19:34:00.001+08:00

a recipebook for life
tell me what i need, how much to add, what's the very next step.

i wish i had one.