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just had a really long talk with ele thought provoking. in our lives, there are alot of unexpected things. we always hoped for the best and wished so hard that the bad things don't happen to us that we are lucky enough that they'll pass us, but no, they just smack right into our faces. we always say we are still young, marriage is far away. that's just an illusion, in 3 years time we will hit 20 and even by then we'll say we are young. but why we just avoid, isn't it supposed to something we wish for, like that in drama shows that the girl yearns for the wedding day? in 5 to 10 years time we have to decided which face we are to see everyday when we wake up for the rest of our lives. we would have to find that special one, who may never be perfect, to company us in life in death. how? that love and passion for just that one person must be burning nonsensically for us to make such a huge decision. tears and sorrows late in the nights, sobbing to ourselves into the pillow, remembering memories that will only provoke our emotions. that's all i remember about love for now. i only remember myself in the state of doubt and of rejection and even if those sweet memories existed it will only bounce back to the final condition and make everything seem much worse. what remains then? if things were back to square one its not that disastrous. its when everything just fall apart and it makes you feel so empty and useless. maybe one day i'll wake up and this will just be a dream.
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author Michele all these while...
February 2011 |