Tuesday, August 29, 2006
behind every child there's a love story.


behind every child is an aging couple
behind this ageing couple is a young woman and a man.
between this young woman and man there's a love story.
in this world of billions there's billions of love stories
and in every one of them is an emotional story
a story which will always be only between two
a story of tough times and of joy
a story that brings out the happiness in everyone
its the heartwarming story of love
of how they are willing to sacrifice for each other
always being there for each other till the day they die.

everytime i see an old couple holding hands
supporting each other
helping each other across the road
slowly they walk along the pavement
even when everything is going so fast
the cars, the children...
the couple seems to be lost in their own world
a world of peace and tranquility
following their own time
having no care for anything else.
it melts my heart
imagining the things they have gone through
the years they have loved each other.

where's my love story?

Divulged at 8:58 PM

Monday, August 28, 2006
tuesday blues


tomorrow is a long and dreary day till 5
don't know how i'm going to survive through those hours
i'm begining to lose strength.

just finished tuition
xiaoting was on the verge of sleeping
and was scolded by gerard!
he's getting more and more feirce nowadays!
hahaha.
no la
its quite hard to imagine him being feirce.
but that's because i'm *ahem* hardworking *ahem* that's why he don't scold me.
wahahaha.
joking la.
xiaoting, i know you've been pretty hardworking. at least i can tell you are trying la. =)
we'll pull through this together
no probs man.

this year is about to come to an end.
and i've got to get through this one to get to the next year
its not that difficult, but its definately not that easy as well.
hopefully whom i know can get through this smoothly.
i'm looking foward to next year
another year of fun
but also the final year of stress.
maybe uni has its own stress.
oh well
just can't wait for this stage to be over.
at the same time there are many things in jc i don't want to let go
i don't want to leave.
but i know i must, and i will.

Divulged at 9:35 PM

Sunday, August 27, 2006
i'm sure today's productive


xiaoting and amos came over
supposedly to study
ended up watching alot of shows
though we studied a little in between
but then we fell sleep for a few minutes
then we went to catch fish!
omg
there's a damn big fish in my tank
and its disgusting la!
xiaoting even took a video of the fish -_-"
after that we cooked dinner
the menu states pasta.
it was quite successful
we finished every bit of it =)
then we watched reign of fire on tv.
didn't exactly get the story
hahah.
after that we switched channels and watched hero
we were like talking throughout the whole movie
talking while enjoying the graphics of the movie.
hahaha.
that covers about the whole day alr.
i'd better sleep early today
dreading school tomorrow
aww man...
nights everyone.
i'm starting to have monday blues alr.

Divulged at 11:11 PM

to crumble


my eyes wide open yet i see no light
scene after the scene images collide
just ahead of my vision they flash by
my mind lies and my heart denies.

unable to accept and refuse to forget
turning around i begin to lose track
of matters of time of love
lost in my own suburb.

eyes shut tight, a bright light shines
right to the core in one straight line
prying open thoughts and emotions
relentless and persistent, it burns.

momentum spills it all over
painfully i wash down the gutter
filled, an unsightly amassment
leaving its source empty and broken.

Divulged at 2:36 AM

exhausted


woke up pretty early today
at like about 10
then went to ikea for lunch
went home to change then went out to study at cine with xiaoting.
studied for like 2 plus hours on integration
i still don't know how to do a few quesions and got stuck at them that's why i took so long.
i'm beginning to dislike integration
can't believe how easy secondary school mathematics is.
we couldn't take it anymore
then went kbox and sang.
i sang hui jia... omg. i think the glass almost broke.
really exhausted from the lack of sleep
then went shopping!
i bought a new pair of heel =)
can't wait to wear it.
then we came to my house
tired to study somemore
and i realised that when i'm really tired i get SEVERE mood swings.
i got stuck at like several qns and i'm damn pissed.
decided to change subject.
not long after we realised we are really too exhausted to do anymore and xt left for home alr.
she's coming back tomorrow to study i guess.
she left all her stuff here.
haha.
so means sher HAS to come tomorrow
at least to get her stuff.

i'm in need of something to lean on.

Divulged at 2:27 AM

Saturday, August 26, 2006
missing.


today again we were standing shivering behind the curtains
hearts beating as one
minds towards the same goal.
everytime when one things is here
i can't believe its here
when that things is finally over
i can't believe that it is
and what overwhelms me is this wave of melancholy.

i don't know what went wrong and i apologise for my mistakes if there were any
we have come such a long way together
if there's anything, i'm always here.
if i'm the cause of it, pardon me.

after the performance
we had photo taking then went to scotts to eat lunch
went with all the gymmers.
then we all headed to my house
today i had tuition
when gerard came they were still at my place
it was quite fun
cause we sort of played around awhile then went back to studies.
xt was catching fishes in my tank then gerard demanded her to get back to table to do her work
hahaha.
i finally learned integration
feels accomplishing.
my house was pretty rowdy today
if only...

Divulged at 12:17 AM

i cried out with no reply...

Divulged at 12:13 AM

Friday, August 25, 2006
Never Alone


I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are you still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone.

Divulged at 11:49 PM

Thursday, August 24, 2006
just a while more


eat.sleep.study.eat.training.study.sleep.
besides these there's nothing else
probably slacking once in awhile
but that's the end of it all.
guess i'll just have to bear with it
its going to end in one month
but even after that...
oh wells
that'll come later.

tomorrow another day of the anxiety
another time of the fear and emotions
but it's also another moment of smiles, laughter and fun.
standing at the stage all over again
although its our don't-know-how many times on that stage
still we feel it
we feel the atmosphere
then tense emotions running through all of us.
i can't believe its one of the last times that we are able to feel all that together
no matter how tough the hurdle or how fearful we are
we have climbed the highest mountains
we can do this again!
i'll cherish tomorrow with all my heart.
hope you all do too.
this may be a rushed job
there's not as much effort placed in this as much as our other performances
but being there with you all makes me feel at peace.
loves.

Divulged at 9:53 PM

Sunday, August 20, 2006
guess who?

Divulged at 5:16 PM

life is short but long enough to live.


sometimes filled with joyful moments with sweet memories
at other times its packed with bitterness and bitten lips.
times that made us laugh or cry
times to treasure till the day we die.
no matter how harsh no matter how mild
no matter how much we don't want it to dull.
it will eventually, it will very soon
but it will always give you one more noon.
it always gives that one day's grace
its the time to accept, come what may.
it shows how temporary things can be
but life has its purpose, we will see.
the meaningful journey between day and night
the tears we shed to see the light.
friends we held so dearly to us
people we meet by fate by chance.
loves in our lives we ought to cherish
bold characters we may unleash.
through day after day
our faith begins to fray.
to ponder over what we have left.
it may be short and hard to believe
but heartening that its long enough to live.

Divulged at 2:08 AM

BEDROOM SURVEY


>> How many windows do you have in your room?
> # one. I WANT MORE!
>> What is the color of your walls?
> # yellow and blue. you know what this means? its time for me to re-paint my room.
>> Hardwood floor, tile, or carpet?
> # hardwood.
>> Do you get ready for the day in your room or toilet?
> # both.
>> What type of closet do you have?
> # those with sliding doors. i need a bigger one now though.
>> What size bed do you have?
> # super single. but i want a queens
>> Is your room big?
> # unforutantely, no.
>> Is it clean?
> # errr... the answer is pretty obvious. maybe the garbage is like cleaner?
>> What is your bedroom view out the window?
> # a large grass field, half a playground, half the barbeque pit, my neighbour's house and many trees.
>> What is your favorite part of your room?
> # the bed.
>> Do you have the following in your room:
> [x] desk
> [x] cell phone
> [x] chair
> [x] book shelf
> [ ] dresser
> [ ] TV
> [x] computer
> [ ] bean bag
> [x] pictures
> [x] mirror
> [x] bed
> [x] stuffed animal(s)
> [ ] drumset ( I WISH )
> [x] clothes on the floor
> [ ] plastic flamingo (?what the hell?)
> [ ] guitar(s)
> [ ] lava lamp
> [ ] smoke detector
> [ ] piano/keyboard
> [x] locking door
> [ ] can of soda
> [ ] bottle of water
> [ ] a blacklight
> [ ] something about your own country
> [ ] medals/ribbons
> [x] trophies
> [x] awards
> [ ] water polo ball
> [ ] soccer ball
> [ ] volleyball
> [ ] basketball
> [ ] softball stuff
> [ ] track gear
> [ ] frisbee
> [ ] beach ball
> [ ] football
> [ ] tennis ball
> [ ] hockey stuff
> [ ] lacrosse stick
> [x] cds
> [ ] sofa/futon/round chair
> [ ] bottles of liquor
> [ ] flag
> [ ] stop sign/any sign
> [ ] caution tape
> [ ] paintball gun
> [ ] airsoft gun
> [ ] Real Gun
> [ ]Cigarettes
> [ ] Snowboard
> [ ] Wakeboard
> [ ] Skateboard
> [x] Stereo
> [x] books
> [x] trash can
> [ ] swimming goggles
> [x] jacket
> [ ] pet
> [x] clock

Divulged at 1:42 AM

worlds apart


tonight has been a night of two totally different emotions
first was a really freaky part
we watched kindaichi
its been like really really long since i watched it!
it was this mystery about a vampire
quite lame at some parts
but quite shocking also.
there was one part when the vampire suddenly grabbed this guy's hand
then xiao ting screamed!
omg.
i got a really big shock!
so did xiaoting.
just that she got a shock from the movie
i got a shock from her screams...
what the hell.
after that interesting and freaky movie
we changed into a totally different mood
into a really sad and emotional one.
the movie [little brother] was about this 2 brothers
one of them had brain tumor
and had to undergo for operation
there was one part when the small brother went all the way to this mountain
believing that the mountain water would cure him
played truant on the day of his brother's operation
just to go to the mountains to retrieve some water
he ran back to the hospital
wanting to give his brother who was on the verge of death, the water.
thinking that it would heal him.
the father stopped him and tried to bring him out of the room
the bottle with the water fell on the floor with a thud.
tears start to well up in my eyes
that scene was so emotional.
now we are watching meteor garden 2
what the hell.
its pretty hilarious.
what a range of emotions i've felt today.

besides that i upgraded my plan!
now i have incoming call =)
yeah!
like finally.
so peeps.
you guys can call me for as long as you want now =)))
then went to eat lunch with my parents
then went to town waited for xiaoting to come
she took a very short time to come only.
a very short time...
not very long la
only about 1 hour late only la.
that's like the usual...
hahaha...
joking only.
don't get upset xt.

then after we studied alittle
then went shopping at far east
i bought a bag!!
like finally
i wanted to get one a long time ago man.
shopped for quite a long time
then headed home to watch the movies!

what a day.
i'd better get down to serious studies alr. =(
JIA YOU PEEPS!

xiaoting thinks vanness is very shuai in meteor garden 2.
and she wanted me to type it in my entry -_-"

Divulged at 1:06 AM

Saturday, August 19, 2006
up ealy in the morning


guess i'll have to study today
i really don't feel like studying
but looks like i don't have a choice.

sometimes i wonder how come everytime we pass one stage of our lives, that stage would seem like it breezed past. yet when you are in that stage in your life, it feels as if it is going by so slowly, torturing.

Divulged at 10:50 AM

no matter how much i like to save lives...


i will never study medicine
even if i can make it there
though i highly doubt.
it is a glorious and meaningful job to take
but i think the moment i enter the lab
i'll either puke or faint.
heard so so much about it today.
heard that there are like several bodies that are preserved for the sake of dissecting and studying them.
these people are those of unclaimed bodies in old folks home and many other places.
omg
its damn freaky
there are like bodies in tubes filled with liquids
reminds me of some movies though.
can you imagine being there late in the night! 0.0
awww man........
never. never.
not me, i'll never enter that lab, i'll never be a doctor.

today i watched click
like FINALLY.
it was quite touching
i teared at the part when he took out the note
and showed the line "will you still love me in the morning?"
and she said "forever and ever and ever."
how sweet can that get?
awww man.

apart from click today
i'm so brain exhausted.
i'm having a slight headache
gosh.
pretty painful =(
had tuition today and finally mastered reaction kinetics.
it was a long topic
really really long
i was like having a 2 hour lecture on it!
really tired.
extremely... ...

Divulged at 12:56 AM

Friday, August 18, 2006
taken from hui ren


10 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME:
- i'm not a closet mugger, for sure.
- being loved holds an extreme importance in my life
- i can't live without my friends
- i like eating and because of that i think i'm becoming fatter and fatter each day. that's like pretty sad cause it mean i'll be obese in old age 0.0
- sleeps alot. [KNOWN FACT]
- loves r.gym
- wants to travel the world
- i'm crazy about sudoku now
- i like to play final fantasy
- i appreciate literature but can't score at it. =(

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
- be my comedian when i'm down
- be there when i need you
- flowers =)
- be sincere...
- make be the most important person in your life (bleah... i'm selfish!)
- don't be possesive, i'm someone who's quite wild. but if i choose you, i chose you. so don't worry, please.
- no tiu tiu's please
- don't be a bastard by liking me for the sake of wanting company or a girlfriend. that's just plain stupid, find someone else.
- love me.

8 THINGS I WEAR/CARRY EVERYDAY
- my phone, helps me to keep in touch with my friends!
- money! i need to eat and drink, can't do without food =p
- ipod... somehow music connects to my emotions. i feel so much for some songs, they can make me cry and they can make me high.
- ezlink, i need to travel and i'm not that rich to take a cab home =(
- memories. sweet ones especially.
- clothes! please, i don't do porn.
- my smile, no matter how bad the day gets, smile. it really makes things much better. its not nice to burden others with my depressing look either.
- eyedrops, in case i get dry eyes from wearing contacts.

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
- somethings that people say and don't mean it.
- when you are skinny ( or obviously skinnier than me) and say you are fat. =p
- when i'm spending money like water.
- when i'm not studying, nor the least motivated.
- when r.gym is torn.
- when i'm sleeping and the freaking teacher wakes me up by knocking the marker on the table like more than 10 times. -_-"
- when those people at the back of the bus don't move in and i have to wait for the next one! its damn irritating. stop it and move in!

6 PLACES I'VE VISITED OR INTEND TO
- paris, the paradise of romance.
- st nicks, just recently. felt so familiar yet strange.
- the ZOO! it was really fun! not seeing the animals, but the company =)
- a playground. i'm reliving childhood again!
- the movie theatre TOMORROW for click.
- my classroom, every single dreary day.

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
- travel the world
- to fall in love and get married
- have kids, hope they won't be like those noisy bunch that i usually see outside =(
- learn latin dancing
- get a job that i like. that's like quite difficult la...

4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
- flying insects!
- losing my friends, being a loner. =(
- becoming fat. i'm really afraid. I DON'T WANT!!
- AGEING. the word speaks for itself.

3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
- go to the toilet, can't imagine if someone doesn't! 0.0
- eat! A MUST!
- sleep. lesser recently, thanks to sudoku.

2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
- sleep too late, which i am alr.
- get pissed. i don't know what's wrong with me but i feel my mood swings. shucks. HELP.

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
- xiaoting. seriously... i'm feeling damn emo. xt makes me laugh =) thanks xt. but i also want to see many other people, esp. the gymmers. love y'all. anyone who makes me smile is someone worth seeing.

Divulged at 12:03 AM

Thursday, August 17, 2006
time thou must untangle this not i, tis too hard a knot for me to untie.


the sunshine always doesn't seem to shine
when i want to feel its rays
the rain doesn't fall
when i want it to
the time doesn't fly
when i want to get things over and done with
the stars weren't there
just when i needed them to cheer me up
my motivation is lost
when i need them to get me through this obstacle.

i learn so much on the theme of time and fate in my literature classes, yet i don't realise how fate is playing on me. year after year the idea of how fate plays a role in our lives. how coincidental things seem to be, how two unknown people can fall in love with the help of time and fate. being at the right place at the right time doing the right thing. i've been taught, preached so so much about all these, at yet i don't see my life twiddling about the fingers of time and fate.

Divulged at 10:41 PM

OCIP!


i might be going for a overseas cip trip end of this year
its like they look at all factors such as results and cca
then decide who goes for what.
hopefully someone i know will be in the same group as me!
i don't want to go alone
it'll be quite boring if i don't know anyone there.

tomorrow i'm watching click!
can't wait la
i've been wanting to watch it for a really really really really really really really long long long long time.
i heard its good la.
must watch =)

can't believe i did GP homework
omg.
she said she'll send out those who didn't do it.
i want to get out also leh...
hahaa...
joking la.
yea. but i did anyways.
bet like half the class didn't do.
so it'll be pretty impossible for her to put everyone out of class!

should sleep early man
got test tomorrow
nights everyone.

sometimes life just like to play tricks on us.

Divulged at 10:24 PM

Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I WANT TO GO OUT!


promos coming already
can't wait to get over and done with it la
i'm really tired of studying. =(

feeling pretty f-up today la.
i don't know why
might be because of gym stuff
really hope we are not that sucky.
sian la.

plus i'm supposed to have tuition today
then SOMEONE like sort of forgot to come
study until forgot to come
awww man.
i don't know why but i'm just feeling damn pissed today

then kass told me tomorrow not going to watch click with me
what the hell...
sian la.
i wanted to watch it SOOOOOO much.
just gotta postpone it to friday then.
prob watching with xt,amos and victor or something
the same 4 pple
hahaha.

its something comforting though.
can't wait for this dreary week to hurry end.

Divulged at 9:52 PM

Tuesday, August 15, 2006
sudoku


its like madness
instead of sleeping in classes now
i'm starting this sudoku craze
its starting to give me a headache though
so i doubt it'll last for long.

today no pe!
cause the floors were kinda wet
so can't really do anything
so we got to go home early =)
went with terri and xt to subway
then pei xt to dye her hair
since she didn't want to make friends with micheal tan
she decided to dye it
like finally...

can't wait for this thurs
gonna watch click with kass
heard its damn touching
and alot of people cried over it!
really can't wait

tomorrow got auditions for the teachers' day perf
and econs extra lessons with miss giam.
so i guess that leaves only my friday left
but then again
i might have tuition on friday =(
but nvm
i think me and xt is going out after that!
haha.
so i guess all my weekdays are fully booked this week

busy busy busy

Divulged at 8:34 PM

Monday, August 14, 2006
walkthrough


was walking down the canteen
everything seemed the same
the tables, the benches
nothing seemed to be out of place
only the shade.

the feeling of being outcasted
being a stranger
being someone who do not belong there
just feels so weird
and unwelcoming.
walking through where i used to walk
in a slighty different shade of blue
only reminds me of how fast things have happened.
what i dread
at the same time called home
is now what i miss
and what i can only call my past.

t i m e
i feel the lack of that element in my life
i feel as if the winds are pulling me through my life
giving me no time to stop and ponder
nor time to stop and treasure.
things have changed
from black to white
i've made so many new friends and at the same time lose the time i had with the others i so treasured.
there's so many things i've gained and so many things i've lost during my experience.
from the cosy place i've called home for so many years
i had to put that down
prepare myself to adpat to a new enviroment
a whole new unfamiliar place with new faces, new responsiblities, new way of doing things.
it quite amazing how we all made it through all these while.

as i stand in the middle
i felt transparent
like i'm non-existent
even when i'm standing right there.

Divulged at 11:35 PM

Sunday, August 13, 2006
A Moment To Remember

Divulged at 3:07 PM

look! what?


yesterday was hell of a day
really fun to the max

at first when me and xiaoting were walking towards suntec
cause we were going there to eat crystal jade.
on the way there
on an escalator
there was this woman in front who was holding this really large sushi basket
then there was this man behind me say " SUSEE! YOU SEE, SUSEE!"
like repeatedly for a really long time
i thought he was talking to a child or something
then when xiao ting looked behind me
he was holding A RAT!
actually a guniea pig and it was resting on his arm without a cage or anything la.
he was like saying that it
expecting it to like know what the hell he's saying
plus he was like damn loud
even the person holding the sushi heard and walked away.
omg la.

after dinner
we went to watch fireworks as night at esplanade
were watching from the marina square foodcourt
not that fantastic from there though
especially when there are so many heads in front you
but the good stuff comes later...

we waited for amos who took 1 hour to come and ended up missing the firework only being able to hear them. =(
then we walked to the esplanade
we thought of those tricks we used to do
of those when we stared at the sky
passerbys would also look up!
we started by sitting at a ledge then four of us stared at the sky into nothing.
one guy fell for it!
he turn to look up!
but it took him another split second to realise he was fooled and quickly turned back down to pretend that nothing happened
damn act cool la!

further as we walked across esplanade
this one is even more hilarious
victor walked up front and he snapped out his arm
pointing at nothing in the distant shouting "eh!'
one couple fell for it
especially the man
he snapped back his head really really really fast
then when they found out that they were fooled
the wife was like "aiyo!"
wahahahahaha.
i think we are really an evil bunch of crazy people with nothing better to do.

then were walked towards fullerton
on the way there
we did a whole lot more of those tricks
we were even counting the ratio of succesful ones at first!
after that we went fullerton
and sat down at the basement
amos and xiaoting went rattling on about their pokemon
wanted to even plug in the adapter!
but we didn't la.
hahaha.
at about 12 plus
amos wanted to go home
so we walked him to the bus stop
but he MISSED his bus
cause we were still xing zhi bo bo
and decided to come with us to eat!

so we walked to lau pa sat
and ate satay!
its been a pretty long time since i went there to eat satay alr!
sat there for really long
then we started talking about ghostly encounters
that made all my hair stand
damn freaky
fortunately we changed topic soon after.
*phew*
if not i don't know how to go home by myself.
talked for a whole lot more
and we saw this prostitute with really old and disgusting old man
its really damn turn off
can't believe how someone can do this kind of things

after that we decided it was really late
so we headed to the fullerton bus stop
on the way
the road was really really empty considering it was 3 am!
so we asked amos to do a back flip in the middle and he did!
xiaoting even video'ed it!



after that victor went home
while we continued walking towards the bus stop

when we were walking to lau pa sat
we saw this really freaky alter in front of a building called the arcade or something
we didn't want to pass it a second time
so we walked by the road side
just as when we thought we already passed the alter and wanted to walk on the pavement
we turned to saw the alter there!
omg
i had a hell shock of my life
i ran out into the road clinging on to xiaoting!
it was damn freaky
seriously.

soon after nr1 arrivied
so we took a rather long journey back home as it went to marina centre then stopped for rest then head back to yishun!

seriously,
what a hell of a day.

Divulged at 12:15 PM

Saturday, August 12, 2006
morning or night?


first time i'm up this early?
nah...
i haven't slept yet since yesterday
haha.

went to play mahjong
just came home 0.0
yeps.
didn't win didn't lose but contented
was hoping i won't lose cause i'm sort of saving up
and fortunately i managed to save myself from taking out an extra dollar from my wallet!

guess i won't have much of today left
thinking that i'll go slp soon
waking up at 3 plus
go for piano at 5 plus
three quarts of the day is gone already!
after that
i'd probably head down to esplanade to watch the fireworks
hope they won't dissapoint me.

i'd better catch some sleep soon.
bleah.
nights to those who haven't slept like me
and morning to those who just woke up =)

Divulged at 6:34 AM

Friday, August 11, 2006
omg. the frustration.


now i finally understood how some people go crazy over studying
there was one nut case in yj
due to over stress of studying went mad
and had to stop school!
what the...

i'm starting to feel it
like at the 8th month of being in jc life.

been doing alot alot of maths the past few days
and its making me have this really bad headache
seeing all those numbers just makes me and xiaoting go mad =(

but then again
the satisfaction that comes after completion
it feels really good
i feel accomplished!

jia you peeps!
promos are just round the corner
hope we all can make it to the next level
which also means more is to come.
J2.

Divulged at 8:10 PM

Thursday, August 10, 2006
permenant




every little moment
brings our lives around a turn
every little smile
leaves us floating for that while.

hugs and kisses X O X O
behold!
taken aback by details
every note every mail.

words of wisdom
from where we learn
the simplest things
to me, you bring.

our love stable it stands
no matter the heat it never bends
poised in perfection
ready without hesitation.

friends for life
placed in our archives
never had
never left.

it was always there and meant to be.

Divulged at 4:50 PM

missing surprises?


my life seems to revolve around a montonous circle
study eat sleep and occasionally outings.
especially when gym performances are over
it seems like there's no more surprises to my life
there's nothing for me to await
only the holidays after promos i guess.
what a boring wait.

i believe that at every time in our lives
we should have a aim
even the most simplest aim like completing something is a perfect aim in life
somehow it feels like i've got no aim anymore
even the weekends seem as monotonous as the weekdays
why the weekends?
there's nothing much special during the weekends.

i'm bored with life's routines.

Divulged at 4:43 PM

my second childhood


went to esplanade to find ele, mina, perry and victor
at night
then victor due to "some circumstances"
had to go down to thomson prata house
so we all cabbed down just because of "his circumstances".

at the prata house
i drank milo dinosaur!
so did 3 other.
haha
when we were ordering
the guy gave us this pen
perry play until the pen broke
so we tried acting blur and say we returned it
it didn't work
so perry had to go get a pen from mou mou ren's shop.
in the end
they spoilt the pen ink
and gave it to the guy
what the hell
almost broke it again!
when the pratas came
the utensils that came with it were OBVIOUSLY dirty with white stains on them
so we asked the same guy to change it for us
he took the utensils and somehow never came back
we left the pratas there left uneaten and put 10 bucks which were for the drinks on the table
ended going to eat ba chok mee at the shop near prata house.
haha.

met xiaoting after that
went yishun to play at yishun park playground
it was pretty dark
we sat see saw, swing and some other thing which i don't know what's it called.
stayed the the playground for pretty long
with xiaoting telling me the story of a movie she watched at sophia's house
pretty touching story.
then when we were about to go
these 3 guys walked pass
looked, glared and then laughed.
after walking alittle in front of us
they turn back to wave
thinking that i'll just not do anything
they were surprised when i waved back at them!
and i quickly turned back to face the other direction and walked away.
thankfully they didn't like come up to us or follow us *phew*
it certainly revealed the childish side of me.

Divulged at 1:46 AM

Wednesday, August 09, 2006
poiseidon


who ever are you
whatever you are.

if i was just to find a boyfriend any ol' how just like that
it would be meaningless
it wouldn't fill me
it would just keep that feeling out of me temporarily
keeping me company
but if its company i want
i can get it from all my friends
they'll be even better company.
but no
that's not what i want.

being with someone to just keep out that emptiness in you
its just pointless
it will only bring more emptiness to you
you will feel like you can't love
that there's no true love in you
and you don't know what you want in life.
this will make you feel hollow
instead of filled.

girls girls girls
we can't resist anything that's good
we whine and complain our sizes to relieve some anger
if we could stop oursleves we would
long ago
but we can't
so complaining serves the purpose of reminding ourselves
hopefully controling our appeitite.
its good to know that you are fat intead of deluding ourselves that we are not.
at least we will do something about it

poseidon
i doubt you know me in person
you totally do not understand girls
if you think that things are that simple and you can just use anything to replace that emptiness
i can assure you that you will be one lonely person in time to come.

Divulged at 5:16 PM

hollow


i hate returning home
when all i get is the emptiness that is held by the four walls
there's no one there to respond
no one there when you want to share your excitement
even when i come back crying
there's no one noticing

its not that i can't live by myself
but after going home with that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach so many times
i don't like returning home
just thinking that i'll swing open the doors and no one's there
makes me feel like staying out the whole night

its not entirely about responding either
its the presence that i want
it makes me feel safe, comforted
chasing all my fears away
planting warmth in my heart.

guess that's the way my life goes
and will continue being like that.
so there's probably no point in me expressing all these
cause there's probably nothing that can fill that gap.

Divulged at 12:35 AM

Tuesday, August 08, 2006
walking through moments to remember


today was probably the day when i walked the most
walked as in physical exercise
in the morning i walked 7 km for double whammy ( a school fun raising project)
we practically walked through a whole forest
took a detour from cj to macritchie
the journey took us about 2 hours!

then we gymmers headed down to thomson plaza for lunch
before going to ronald's house then to the zoo
met pretty lao shi there
she wore a dress and heels
looked totally hot.
walked a whole lot more for about 3 hours in the zoo
before heading down to ronald's house

ate KFC for dinner
FAT-
then watched this korean show i'll never ever forget
its called a moment to remember.
its about this girl who had an illness ( i don't know how to spell it! )
which made for forget things like slowly till she can't remember anything at all
she's married to this lovely guy
who is so sweet!
the plot may be simple and expected
but upon seeing the guy's tears and emotions surge
even i can't help but cry.

tearing is not that bad alr.
the other rgymmers there are practically crying their hearts out
can't believe how emotionless i can get.

the show is really really really fantastic
if you can find the show
WATCH IT
its called A MOMENT TO REMEMBER!
its something no one should miss out!

all your feelings seemed to flow with the show
as if you feel so so much for the characters in the show
you can feel his pain
her torture
the extremes between them.

i'll never forget.

Divulged at 11:54 PM

Monday, August 07, 2006
ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


tmr is zoo day with the gymmers!
its been a pretty long since i've been there
then we'll be headed to ronald's house
watching some movies i guess
BETTER NOT be zoolander
heard from the bad experiences the last time round
haha

can't wait!!
ladedum...

Divulged at 7:21 PM

Sunday, August 06, 2006
to like and to forget


its never a skill my dearest
never
just that over the years
we gradually learn how to control those emotions
and even when it surfaces
you find it easier to surpress them
after experiencing them before.

so i guess its not about forgetting
its actually about lettting go
people always come to realise that actually you'll never forget
whether is it that it comes back to you with a tinge of sadness or with a laughter to push it aside
it will come back to you
not to haunt you
but to remind you of your past
and asking you to learn from them.

never take it as a heart broken
but a heart strengthened
cause everytime you take that fall
you learn how to pick yourself up
and move on
those who don't move on
are those who will always fail in life
never being able to really let go.

don't deny yourself either
trying to psycho yourself won't help
everything will just surge back with a bigger wave
a bigger impact
listen to your feelings
know what you want
learn to accept reality
hope for the better
and pray for the best.

with lots of love.
XOXO

Divulged at 11:18 PM

snip snip snip


i've got myself a refeshing look today!
finally after months of torture
i've got my haircut
and its really really short
if you place three finger from the bottom of the roots of your hair when you lift them
thats the length at the back!
haha.
wonder how i'm gonna tie it up for school tomorrow =p
maybe i won't!

P.S. thanks kass for accompanying in such a short notice =)

Divulged at 5:15 PM

today's history


woke up early in the morning yesterday
still feeling sleepy
headed down to town to get red and orange glitter
thought we would use them to "put" the flames on our heads
but there was a change in decision
oh well.

me and mina when to taka to buy food and drinks
then headed down to nygh at 1.30
to find out the audi only opens at 3
WOW
so we sort of waited there for like an hour or so
in between
we went to buy junk food from those vending machines
bought M'n'M's
we put the money in and keyed in the no.
waited to find that the packet was stuck there
we slamed the machine like 10 times then it drop
*phew*
when we could enter the audi
we rehearsed one more time then went to put make up on
today's make up was nicer then yesterday's!
it was slightly lighter
making us look less like a witch
haha.

so came our performance
we did well guys!
give a pat on your backs!

after that we headed down to bukit timah rd to eat prata!
sat there for like damn long
left there about 1 plus
haha
waiting with amos for his parents
when we wanted to leave thinking that he's parents would reach soon
he's parents hadn't even left the house
omg
so we had to wait like much much longer than we expected
after his parent's arrived
four of us living in the same area(almost)
took a cab home
the fare was like 20 plus la
what the hell
haha
luckily when we split cost it was only about 6 bucks each!

on the way home
i found a math's tuitor!
woohoo
been finding one for a pretty long time
i think its time i set on one
i really need one!!
considering i have only 28 marks for my mid-yrs
what the hell la.

so i'm back home
to the present state.
yep.
probably sleeping soon
*yawns*
i'm afraid i'll wake up damn late tomorrow
actually intended to do some studies
hopefully i can =(

nights everyone
esp. the gymmers =)
sweet dreams.

Divulged at 2:18 AM

finally over yet gone


time just ticked by so fast yesterday
one minute we were preparing
the other minute we were eating at bukit timah
and just another minute i'm at home.

i'm really relief that all our efforts were not wasted
that we really did well
yet another part of me just doesn't want to let go of that feeling
i don't want to go to sleep
leaving yesterday behind
lost in reality
but i know i can't just hold on to it forever
its just a unrealistic dream of mine...

Divulged at 2:12 AM

Saturday, August 05, 2006
one down...


today's performance was pretty scary at first
tried to yanshen as much a possible
hopefully we succeeded it in
haha.
it wasn't too bad!
well done guys
at least now we know that our efforts are not wasted
remember the feeling when we finished?
the smiles on our faces
the joy we had in accomplishing what we aimed for a week plus ago.

come to think of it
i don't want this moment to pass
i don't want time to just fly by like that
i want to keep all these memories
the emo pictures, the hugs and angry faces.
the tension
the nervourness
the togetherness we had.

and one more to go.

Divulged at 12:36 AM

Thursday, August 03, 2006
tomorrow and the day after tomorrow


tomorrow's the first big day
where it seems like dejavu
the waiting, the sweaty palms, the encouragement, the fear...
just about a month ago
we were standing with all those in our minds

today
we stand together to feel those emotions.
previously
we stood as individuals.

for tomorrow and the day after
we have to rely on each other
look out for each other
pray for each other
take care of each other
think of each other
only then
we will succeed.

jia you gymmers.
love you always.

Divulged at 10:44 PM

One Day I Wrote Her Name Upon The Strand


One day I wrote her name upon the strand
But came the waves and washed it away
Again I wrote it with a second hand
But came the tide, and made my pains his prey.
'Vain man,' said she, 'that dost in vain essay
A mortal thing so to immortalise;
For I myself shall like to this decay,
And eke my name be wiped out likewise'
'Not so,' quod I, 'Let baser things devise
To die in dust, but you shall live by fame;
My verse your virtues rare shall eternise,
And in the heavens write your glorious name:
Where, whenas Death shall all the world subdue,
Our love shall live, and later life renew.'

this poem has a sense of melancholy yet beneath everything is a romantic dream of a man who has fallen in love. the simplicity of wanting to immortalise their love, their affections. he passes the trials he has to face before he is able to overcome the forces of time that no one can actually go against.

and yet he did.

Divulged at 10:32 PM

Wednesday, August 02, 2006
the pressure's rising


i know we are awesome people
with super capabilities
but there's a point in everyone of us
where we simply can't take it anymore

this is definately not an easy task
and making us do this in a week
is close to impossible
but
we are the people to bring the impossibles closer to being possible
it is our love for each other
the support we have for one another
that helps us bridge the gap.

jiayou everyone =)

Divulged at 11:06 PM

Tuesday, August 01, 2006
i fell and the impact just broke me


i stumbled
i picked myself up and started anew
i thought i did
i thought i could scrape off the dirt on my knees
rub my bruises cry the pain off
and continue walking on.

but these bruises just refuses to go away
they seem to stay on forever
just when i really felt like my knees no longer hurt from the impact
and that my tears have dried
i pull myself up to find that my legs have becomed weak
and that i don't have determination to take another step.

i promised to stop whining
jump on my feet and walk or even run
but i just can't cause my knees are giving way.

Divulged at 11:23 PM

we are awesome i guarantee


come on la
it has only been the sixth day of training
so far
we have come up with a 3 min tao
taught every single member in the team
coordinated to almost perfect (which it WILL be perfect on that day)
organised the stuff to wear on that day
we are just fabulous i tell you.

its pretty amazing when you think of how we work
its damn fast la
one day come out tao
next day practicing
the effort we take and the determination is have
i think its really commendable!
r.gymmers!
we have done really really well
and we will complete this cip with pride and glory!

deeply in love with you guys, seriously.

Divulged at 11:18 PM