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didn't do much today shucks i'm so screwed seriously. watched the president star charity one of the people who were sick said that its not about the pain the disease gives but about waiting for heaven registration 0.0 its damn sad i am really very fortunate. we fortunate kids should really treasure our lives i should start noticing the good things around me i'm taking everything for granted. what a spoilt kid i am. Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry Have you ever needed somethin' so bad you can't sleep at night Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right why do i always just leave things as they are unwilling to do anything to make a difference i'm just afraid
i should be studying now well done i'm like still at my computer i woke up early so i could study but its not working. rahhhhhhh. put up new music leave me a comment whether i should leave there or not k? thanks (:
time seemed pass very slowwwlyyyy today especially when i was studying although i didn't do much but then i was kinda wait for the time to pass awaiting for the time to play and have fun to come oh wells woke up early went to sch today was one of the earliest in sch at first i was in the canteen alone la. lang bei after about 6 plus plus plus hours of studying went to eat the thai restaurant the one we went last week with the brushing incident. whoops. but the food still tastes great even though we ordered the same veg not the tiny bit bored of it yet. after that we played old maid, snakes and ladder and pictionary! laugh until stomach pain alr all the *beep* spinning and all. fewwwwuuuwwwwit. back home hopefully can do some studying later considering the afternoon was almost a waste all i can think about now its probably only two things wonder when both of these thoughts will settle down and be resolved If love was a bird then we wouldn't have our wings If love was the sky we'd be blue If love was a choir, you and I could never sing will we.
there's so much things i need to do and so little time. i wonder how everything will turn out how the events from now till next yr march will unfold. for now i guess i have no other choice. it just broke my happy and hopeful bubble wishful thinking
thanks friends who gave me all the encouragement i needed its good knowing there are people who believe in you and i'll really try my best but no promises! its about 5 more weeks to a's weeeellllllllllll, its not going all that smoothly but at this point of time, i think whining/screaming/lamenting/being frustrated at the results are seriously no point whether i like it or not i'm going to go into the exam halls so i guess the only thing i can do now is chiong all the way though my heart and mind falter now and then but then i think i'm going strong. i hope so. hope my efforts will pull off when i want them to pray hard people, its about to end really soon. it may just end like this you just don't know it.
feel quite accomplished today though i couldn't do a few math qn and took damn long to do a econs essay but at least i think i've got my mind in the right place. just hope that it will continue just now when i was having dinner my dad kinda nagged at me for my prelims results my results were expected yet not expected i kinda put in quite a bit of effort into it but it didn't show. maybe it just wasn't enough then i don't know what i need to do as he nagged and nagged it kinda didn't help i was alr like feeling damn dreadful of studying and he had to keep going on about what am i going to do in the future if i continue like that rahhh. i know he meant me well but i still couldn't help but feel irritated. after doing the econs essay i kinda feel alittle dizzy hope i'm not getting sick i'd better not considering i've got LOADS of work to do. all the best to those in the same plight as me. i still wonder
harry potter is an evil book a really evil one not because it has the dark lord, voldemont in it, not because there's all the killings BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY PUT MY STUDIES ASIDE. and that's not very good considering we only have 5 more weeks left that's barely enough time to push my shit grades up the notch. but i still have to do it no matter what. harry potter, you are going to be gone in one or two more days. maybe i'll look back and realise my grave mistakes.
this weekend have been a fun-filled one. though its not supposed to be that way considering i have MAJOR exams in a month's time. on friday we watched the last episode of the 7o'clock show another taboo. then on saturday, studied then had piano then went to chomp chomp to meet esmond, terri, amos, phua, erwin and alvan. at first when only me, terri and esmond was there, we made erwin walk rounds. AHAHA. after all that, esmond still had to ask : "why you never ask who's not here?" well done. he kena jacked the whole night. after tawhuay and satay, we went to tavistock park again like last year to play candles, lantern and sparklers! woooo. damn fun. kinda like it that we all remembered and gathered to play. at least it makes time seem like it moves slower and that everyone remembers the times we all had together :) somehow so many things have changed, people have changed, times have changed, company has changed. its good that the memories still stayed. after that went home, potter, sleep. today went to study again, unbelievably played ludo, chess and old maid. like we having another childhood or something or just maybe we ARE STILL in our childhood. aahahaha. well done. did quite a fair bit of studying today which made me happy :) read across an article today in some old edition of reader's digest: 'DEATH TO THE SCRUNCHY : sometimes riding the bus is like travelling through a time warp. you get onboard in 2007, but sit behind a woman in an orange scrunchy and -- boom -- hello 1983.' right... i can't sense the sarcasm at all in that fashion comment. but its quite hilarious. there were SOME who couldn't get it though. ahahhaa. the weekend's over and so is my joy that's just great. i'll just have to wait another 5 more days! oh ya. and 21st september just passed "do you remember? 21st night, september on a saturday night..." i guess only some will get it. though it wasn't a saturday, it brought back some memories for sure happy memories x) everytime you look into my eyes i'll just fall deeper into yours
watching the show "you hua jiu shuo" this ep has steven lim and xiaxue crap la. ahaha. don't even know where their argument is going to coming to think of it i don't know why i blog the no. of people reading this is like so damn little but oh wells AHAHAH well done. damn it. i still cannot get off the tv thing.
i'm still not sensing the urgency on the brighter note, i didn't fail any paper today cause i didn't recieve any to be able to fail any. oh wells. sometimes although i didn't study much and i know i really didn't chiong throughout i still feel that dissapointment when i get back the results worst of all when its the subject i put the most effort in and none of those efforts are shown that's just great it just makes me feel like a complete loser. today was supposed to have tuition but was cancelled didn't study much in sch or at home either that's really bad i need to get my direction right at this point of time. my parents think i'm studying real hard, in fact everyone thinks i'm a closet mugger but i'm not. i don't studying at home and i don't keh, those zhuai one out there don't come give me that face. RAHHH. go away especially that terri ah. the most zhuai one. tsk tsk. ahahha well done, i'll just end up dissapointing myself and everyone else. apart from that i've been eating alot that's no good either i'm really commiting all the sins that i'm not supposed to! why am i so rebellious?? ok. not really, but in my own sense and world. does it really work that way? i hope not.
its like so damn fast its like 6 weeks to a's i should be panicking by now but what am i doing -- watching tv. WOW. i'm so screwed please just make me study for like the next 6 weeks and i have 6 months to enjoy WAKE UP MICHELE don't think about anything else, focus and study. RAHHHHHH iseriouslyneedtolikestudyeverysingledayandnotsleepinthefreaking libraryorwatchthedamntvformorethananhourandineedtopickupthe speedofmystudyingandnotdolessthanonemathpaperadayitsso frsutratingathowicantsensethefreakingurgencywheneveryoneelse canireallyreallyneedtolikeputmybraintotheswitchedonmodeforthe nextsixweeksoanyonewhocanhelppleasedothanks i have a feeling my brain won't listen and neither will my heart so if neither are working what am i to do DIE. i need a wake up call.
watching the gym concert all over again makes me think about what happened in those months i don't know whether to be sad or happy being sad that everything's over that nothing can ever be repeated nothing. even if there was another concert, even if there was another performance it will never be anything like this year's concert, enchantement. to be happy, that everything turned out well and how proud i am of all of you guys seriously, no matter how bad you thought it was no matter what mistakes we all made no matter how untidy we were no matter how unprepared we were in my eyes its perfect its true i sat watching wondering how we managed to accomplish such a task it was one that seemed impossible one week before the concert i felt like giving one week before the concert i felt so useless so dejected just one week before the concert and within that week so many things changed i never had the confidence in myself that i could do it up till now i think luckily i had people around me who could help i don't think i can or will ever arrange anything like that ever again but still i'm so proud watching every move, every stunt, every fall, every smile, every pose, every failure, every success, i just can't leave my eyes off the screen. i just think its so nice so nice that i don't mind watching it again laughing at the -censor- (report of unsuitable material) smiling when we dropped apparatus surprised when i remembered something funny i don't think i'll ever have so many emotions cramped up in a single week ever again that was my last chance.
i like talking to you, ele i like talking in general talking, yakking away about things that are going on and sometimes nonsensical stuff i like talking about life, discussing and knowing if my life is normal or not ok. not exactly but somewhere ard there. its good to know someone else thinks like i do at least i'm not a weirdo shit or what. ahahah but when i talk about life in general it makes me alittle more relaxed like i'm looking at life and seeing it from a third's person's point of view rather than being engaged in the fury of it it makes me think not like how math makes me do so but more of which direction i want to take next and what purpose life has for me maybe its not supposed to be what life has for me but instead what i have for life. oh wells. sometimes i guess i'm just too lazy to decide i'd rather let life unfold itself thinking that i'm going to start studying really soon sucks. please don't let time pass so fast! i want to enjoy alittle more the fresh air before entering the old stale air of the library all over again for the next month or so. just flower the road as you quietly tread on out
i finally blogged after like a month like the concert's over prelims are almost over i've been studying everyday for the last one month that sucks la i think i'm begining to burn out and that's not a very good sign cause i've got like two months more to go until a's i think this time i really cannot create miracles alr its like i've used up all my chances after those prelims papers i think i'm just going to fail everything. WELL DONE. RAH. i'm not supposed to playing with the computer at this point of time but its like i REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE STUDYING ANYMORE. maybe i should go with xiaoting to the pet shop to start working. AHAHA. oh wells. maybe i'm just not cut out for stupid studying shit. RAHSKJFHGDLKT.
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author Michele all these while...
February 2011 |