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thank god i have friends. from morning until night, my mood has improved GREATLY. right perry? in the morning had consultation with hoi, felt like shit and felt like i needed to just not sleep and study till i die. then felt alittle better when everyone came with their comforting words although it ended off with all the teasing i'm sure those comments started off with good intentions just that with you people it tends to digress alittle. went home didn't study much, mood went down alittle again but lightened when i went to eat. happy birthday perry. went kap study then when they went to eat supper and left me alone to die ahaha. just kidding. went amk macs drive through to study managed to study quite abit and feeling satisfied now (: with you people ard stress becomes so much easier to swallow thanks loads you cannot imagine how much it helps me. i guess that's the end huh.
didn't study much today that sucks i'm supposed to be at my peak now but i'm really damn tired set my alarm to wake up at 830, i ended up waking at freaking 9 plus 10. i already have no time and to go downhill now is just really not a good sign RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH time is always not on my hands why i just always end up doing this halfway not being able to give it the best i can ever do its happening to me i always have not enough time i think i always overestimate myself and end up causing myself all the shit. tell me i want to hear them all over again.
studying but i don't know if its enough i seriously don't feel like studying anymore but if i give up now all that i have put in before just goes to waste anyways i have no choice now. i just have to stand strong and push forward its the same as anything else, like before FIGHTING! letting go is not the easiest thing to do but its the easiest way out of our sorrows holding on will only cause us to fall deeper.
six more days... just six. i think it won't work out after all.
yesterday i finally understood vectors and alittle bit more about complex i have lets say... 11 more days including today and i'm just about to understand. hmmm. what a wise thing to do. yesterday wasn't very satisfactory hope today i will be able to study more! supposed to go out to buy things tonight but i'm kinda lazy like REALLY lazy RAHHHHHH. good luck to all those taking their a's though i think i'll need more of it than many others still, all the best everyone its only one more week away! and did i mention this before? i love tee35'06'07 :) did you know what i was thinking yesterday? always seemed like you do.
yay! i'm a happy girl today cause i bought a dress! finally one more settled. i have one more to buy though and that's pretty major - PROM. this is a bad sign i'm supposed to be studying and since i'm out there shopping it means i haven't been studying. that's just great. now i'm online not good not good. got to study now. now. NOW! do you?
i know i know i'm not supposed to be here typing but i was kinda frustrated doing math qns that i keep making careless mistakes i feel like tearing the book apart. RAHHH tmr got consultation early in the morning when i say early its really early like at 7 0.0 marygoh is crazy but i think i need it. looks like tmr is going to be long day its alr thurs that's how fast time flies was still complaining over the previous weekend that all i have left are two pathetic weeks and now i only have one more plus plus plus at this rate i think i will just fall flat on my face. was today any different? is tomorrow going to be any different? will we...
two more weeks just two more weeks its damn crazy i'm not even half way near done with my studies and in two weeks i'm going to be in those exam halls everytime i think about the time i have left i just get so jittery but then after awhile, it settles down and i start to slack all over again i think i'm studying but i think i'm not its like i'll sit down to study but find myself stoning most of the time or at least not concentrating after awhile and that sucks cause i'm already using all my time for studies but its not going to get me anywhere i'm just this freaking big loser that is about to fail everything and end up going home after i receive my results in march well done.
openhouse today! went back to help the gymmers hope you guys didn't think i was extra. oh wells. i AM extra it feels weird knowing that my time is over and i'm never going to be part of it ever again. watching you guys flip and turn, it makes me want to go up and do something like go there and action abit. ahaha. but i can't i guess. on the other hand, as i watched you guys do your stuff i was kinda proud knowing that its the team i was in knowing that i was a part of it you guys did so well please, i was like the item of the day AHAHA. (: always my fav. maybe its going to be never.
felt alittle depressed just now thinking about my prelims result thinking about where's my future's going to lie just sucks la knowing that there's just that big chance i might end up NO WHERE. that's just great. so i went to exercise alittle part of it was to lose alittle weight another part was to gain back my determination i realise that whenever i exercise i have that determination its like a goal you want to meet and you just go all out made me feel alittle better and alittle more motivated than a few hours ago. ok. show's starting. bye guys.
aha! i finally can come online actually its only been 2 or 3 days that my internet has been down but being so used to it that i can just log on when i get home it feels alittle weird without it sounds like a spoilt brat thats great. been trying really hard to study the last few days though i keep stoning and sleeping the library but i guess its almost the best i can do alr keep telling myself that there only 3 more weeks to this and i'm so done and over but then another part of my brain tells me that i'm so not going to be able to make then both just offsets each other so i'm just stuck at where i am die la. maybe i can't make it but you can.
Smiles up wide and tainted with love Greased with care and rowdy cheers All rejoicing for the end of birth Flowing streams of salted tears Within the crowd there’s sunshine Within silence there’s rain Our centers as sweet as pine Befuddled like people insane As we turn away gloom gives - Waves of dread moaning goodbyes Neither cry not believe Please bind us well those ties.
call me arrogant but i'm so damn proud watched the gym concert again yesterday looked through the pictures today it seems so long ago but it was only probably one month plus ago can't believe that we did that it may not be perfect but i can see the efforts that came through our performances yesterday collected the team awards there was only one judo award and THREE GYM AWARDS and no other its damn good to go up stage being captain it feels like i've got all the credit! AHAHA nahhh. i just feel so proud to be a cjgymnast and i'm serious we were a fantastic team although there were many hiccups but oh wells, you all were still great i wish all of you good luck hope we all will successful in the future sitting waiting wishing
today's horoscope: Rally together your dearest friends today to do something uproarious and silly. i'm sure that's exactly what we did today went nyny with my favorite tee35 there was a small booth that probably only max 10 ppl could go in tee35 manage to squeeze inside! 0.0 we are superduper crazy but its fun (: today's the last day having a class don't want to let go of it though tee35 will always be tee35 we will always be ONE right?! when you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you.
I'M DAMN SAD I DON'T WANT TO GROW UPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!! what tomorrow means to me... 1. the last day i'm going to go, "marikita yat ya singapura..." 2. the last time i'll wear the uniform besides for a's. 3. the time when its time to part with my class 4. its the end of my gym career FOR REAL 5. i'm about to reach the next huge turning point in my life all over again 6. its the time to say goodbye to favourite teachers. 7. the last day that i can say i'm a cjc student 8. the day to miss all those memories and times. are we going to say goodbye forever, soon? if i had one wish, i would wish we wouldn't.
feeling quite accomplished at the amount of work i did today :) technically tmr is the last day of sch its the last day of walking ard the sch compunds from LT to LT alittle sad but also happy that the boring stuff is ending oh wells it looks like we all are about to move into the next stage into our lives but i really really hope that we won't forget each other you know kinda hate how things always change so fast and before you know it your entire surroundings changes with you. its feels like yesterday when t35 was at the shed at PA during orientation and now its been about 2 years we've been seeing each other every single weekday in these 2 years that's pretty long and we've come a long way i'm glad i'm in the tee35, really. things have been really exciting and all don't know what my cj life would be without you guys. although most of the time in lessons i was technically not awake BUT my spirit was with the class! :) gym was another main reason i came to cj without it i probably would be somewhere else now and who knows what i'll be like thank you all i will miss gym like crazy seriously, its been part of my cj, part of life. now parting with it really seem to make one part of life so damn empty. missing all the times thinking of what we've done, and what the team was grown into makes me proud to say i was in CJGYM TEAM! although there was all the disputes, it will never be bad in memory the good overrides the bad so i guess the memory will stick with me for life. thank you all for giving me the chance to lead and making dreams into reality, impossible into possible. and all the close friends i have in cj i only met just 2 years ago it was by that tiny fate we met. if could have went somewhere else if i didn't met you guys i wouldn't have known what i was missing out i'm really glad that we met things wouldn't have been the same without you guys. :) omg. i'm damn emo. rahhhhhhhhh. what's happening to me??? now that i'm leaving i don't want to anymore. what will become of us?
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author Michele all these while...
February 2011 |