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today's training was really intensive man. it made me realise i really cannot make it damn was hoping to compete. fortunately i have another year to go. next year it seems like we have to do 4 routines that's like MADNESS!!! hopefully i can cope. its like i can barely cheng gong half the tao. what the hell. enough of it i'm feeling worse. went dinner with yinkies just now ate western FAT-- then we walked to the library opp to sit swing unexpectedly, it drizzled. sucks i wanted to cool off on the swing. so we took a bus home then went i reached my condo outside she called me to tell me she left her cam with me OHs la. she had to like take another bus to redeem her cam from me. she was so tempted to take a cab home after that wonder if she did. in other aspects of my life i'm feeling not much better. fortunately i have some good friends i can lean on. thanks jie ying for lending me a listening ear. i know its pretty boring hearing me out. but just let me fa xie abit. i pity your ears but do i look like i care? haha joking. thanks loads anyways.
yesterday went northpoint to study with carmelita well. QUITE productive. alright la studied math and chem 1st 3 months stuff i think i'm quite screwed for those topics. was planning mahjong on the way det didn't reply john's msg for a long time then when i called him he picked up! haha he claimed that he was just nice having a 5 min break but john doesn't believe it he thinks det PURPOSELY didn't want to reply him haha but anyways i sorta forced to det to come no matter what so we played. at the start i was losing like ALOT like 50 bucks madness but luckily after eating dinner my luck sorta changed totally. at the end i won 16 bucks! how cool is that?! we played till 2 plus. det had to go off he got camp the next day so does john haha so i stayed over took a ride home ta da here i am safe and sound at home =) Xiao Ting Says: you know we are playing games. my game has ended and i havent lost, so stop putting your game on pause, like how you normally do on PS. its wasting battery. haha. sometimes, we really arent sure if those were lies or not. maybe its just a sudden 'feeling' at the moment. which fades off so soon even before you realise it. you know what. my game really has been on pause all these while and its consumption of enery is really high not exactly wasting but it ate away alot from me. thanks XT for all the talks and the walks it really helped me to clear my mind think things through. really helped thanks loads and it's a good thing you haven't lost don't lose to this stupid game its not worth it.
sure didn't feel like it it felt so much like a school day. went to school pretty much like normal time - nine. put my alarm at 7.30 end up i woke up at 8 WHOOPS. wanted to meet xt on the bus. missed it by few seconds. sian took the next 851 anyways met xt at another bus stop we took another bus to school we were damn late for chem lect HENG the teacher quite slack one. went to collect my IPOD today! like finally =) yea. got a brand new set quite obvious : 1) it was diff serial no. 2) no sratches AT ALL 3) it was wrapped up in plastic nicely 4) the hold button on top was visible yup so i sorta like got a new MP3 all together. then went for training from 4 plus to 8 madness coming wed have to do tao with qi jie. shiat so screwed. probably fail in the first 10 seconds. haha. tomorrow will be going to northpoint to study with carmelita. what should i study?! hmmm... who knows. i'll decided later i'm going to the pool to study at 11 for fun bleah it looks so peaceful outside i want to give it a shot. like quite nice to study. sure didn't feel like hols.
today went to xuanhong's bday chalet only got like few pple there all sleeping. after a while a whole bunch of unknown pple came into the chalet so me and xt left for changi we walked around changi went to the viewing mall [xt begs to differ that it should be called a mall] walked around sat at burger king talked. we did all these from 6 to 9 plus. haha wonder how we did it. we thought a lot sighed alot we are two depressed people haha yup headed home by train it was a nong nong journey man. all these time added up still not enough time to think when i reached my condo i sat at the swimming pool for half an hour before heading back home. may seem boring it gave me alot of time to answer questions i wanted myself to answer. still haven't found the answer for some finally figured out the rest. P.S. sorry gym pple for canceling the camp. esp. ele... sorry!
i question myself the possibility or us being together again can you every trust me again? i know its hard almost impossible. will you ever accept me back again with an open heart? will you?
touching its about 4 love stories all having sad endings this show is one sad show. there was one boy whose mom is downed with cancer. when she was struggling in pain the boy told the teary father, "don't cry, for she can hear you" he then went out of the hospital and screamed while choking with tears. then there was another girl she's deaf with a scar on her face and she likes this cutie she saw while working as a doll mascot. she meets him everyday but doesn't say a word hidden under the doll costume then one day her sister avoided her boyfriend and husband to be cause he was a fire fighter and everytime she heard the siren, her heart just skips a beat. the deaf girl screamed at her sister who was fuming. she said "at least you can say i love you, i don't even have the chance to" some things in life is really saddening. don't you think so? i don't ever learn to cherish people do i?
i don't know what to say anymore can't think of anything to say it looks so bleak. i'm liar both as liar to myself and you. you don't trust me don't. i'm not worth your trust. probbing my mind racking my brains for an answer is there even an answer? maybe i'm saying all these to make myself feel better but it doesn't seem to be working sadly. i'm a cheater hate me i con people no matter who i do hate me i'll feel better. maybe you don't want me to feel better maybe you really don't. who knows? only you. maybe i'm heartless maybe i really am.
Once again we sit in silence After all is said and done Only emptiness inside us Baby, look what we've become We can make a million promises But we still won't change It isn't right to stay together When we only bring each other pain I don't wanna cry Don't wanna cry Nothing in the world Could take us back To where we used to be Though I've given you my heart and soul I must find a way of letting go 'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry Too far apart to bridge the distance But something keeps us hanging on and on Pretending not to know the difference Denying what we had is gone Every moment we're together It's just breaking me down I know we swore it was forever But it hurts too much to stay around I don't wanna cry Don't wanna cry Nothing in the world Could take us back To where we used to be Though I've given you my heart and soul I must find a way of letting go 'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry All the magic's gone There's just a shadow of a memory Something just went wrong We can't go on make-believing I don't wanna cry Don't wanna cry Nothing in the world Could take us back To where we used to be Though I've given you my heart and soul I must find a way of letting go 'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry
i went scotts for dinner with my gym mates ate beef noddles. yumMmMm... FAT- haha. Ele didn't feel like going home so i suggested coming to my house to star gaze when i came home there were like 2-3 stars that i can see WOW gaze what gaze... but she didn't come anyways.  took this in scotts food court... mina and me =)
P.S. dear, get well soon.
The crashing winds approach without any signal or sign. it runs at godspeed crossing all boundaries knowing no line. It knocks on my doorstep giving my a second to breathe but hestitating no futher it turns, i grief. As the winds howl and scream i'm stuck in this typhoon lost in my fate a fate of doom. Everything has an end even these winds. it becomes too calm i'd rather be where i've been. The winds then flee far far away- but like a boomerang it hits back where i lay. This time it doesn't stop it doesn't wait for me to breathe. it took my breath and my heart away - thief! I've lost my heart i've lost my life for now my soul belongs to the winds where we collide.
1. Next training have to do tao with qi jie when i haven't been able to master everything yet. 2. My parent's first said that if i wanted to go malacca to make specs, just find a day where i'm free. I can also call some friends to come along. I arrange can alr. Now, they say what's the rush? And i alr told my friends alr. what the hell. don't want to go then tell me earlier la. whatever- 3. dear, sorry for like no concentraing on messaging you just now. sorry for ACCIDENTALLY like pressing away your msg just now. it's like ALL MY FAULT. 4. Gp mid yrs this friday screwed.
i admit i was wrong sorry. i really couldn't see your intentions i'm just dumb la really. thanks for being so thoughtful sorry for letting you down. P.S. people always say love is blind. this time round, i'm the one who's blind for not being abale to see so many times. sorry.
just watched Da Vinci Code. not bad la it was 2 and a 1/2 hr quite thrilling actually. some parts are quite freaky also =( but overall still not bad. yup... i better go sleep alr nights everyone!
oh gosh. today's really a damn slack day first period -- PE BUT Foo told us to go back to class -first break- next 2 periods. -break- madness already 3 breaks in a row. there's more. next lesson -- admin lesson my econs teacher took this lesson to do some admin stuff. gosh. that's not all after finally a lesson -- math -break- AGAIN. then econs lect what a day! yup tonight i'm watching hopefully Da Vinci Code =) and i'm gonna book the tics for Lin Jun Jie's concert! woohoo for now i'm going to yishun to study by myself how hardworking right?!?! i hope this is not temporary. [knowing that it most prob is] shit--------------- i'll try my best to keep this attitude up =) P.S. dear, you are my motivation miss you.
 CJ gym team!.jpg) aren't we cute?!?!DUH- haha. joking la!
*phew*
love you guys.
woohoo! managed to like rush home in time to watch g-force. they sang i believe abit slow for fan shen zhan oh what the heck it was alright la not too bad the judges gave quite horrible comments though. damn. think they "abit" hard to get in only. then there was this grp abit errrrrrrr... *cough* horrible *cough* won't say which one they abit glamourous only. haha. enough of superband. today during training, finished cheographing my routine like finally but still can't do it well blweah. i think i'm gonna do so badly for competition *sigh* [depressed] today i went LJS to eat. then they had this gimmick if you upsize your drink you get a chance to meet Lin Jun Jie! haha i fell for it. i upsized my coke =( fattening. ~regrets regrets~ Lin Jun Jie's concert tics out! i found out the prices alr which price should i go ar? i scared the tics till sell out! i better go buy soon =) whee. lucky i got not much work tonight i better go bathe now. I STINK! haha alrights ta ta people!
it was only that once that i went. do you know how many times i like pang sei my friends just for you?? do you know how many times i reject others because i was meeting you? do you know how many times others ask me out for a movie and i said no? gosh. i don't mind actually for you. but just because this once. then you say until like i was like damn wrong to watch it with someone else. fine i know i said "let's watch it next time" i said sorry alr! you don't have to like every movie we are going to watch say such things. okay next time just don't wait if your friends ask you to go watch JUST GO WATCH IT WITH THEM i won't mind seriously. i know you are going to like say the same thing again next time when i suggest to watch a movie. sometimes i just wish you had short term memory then maybe you would stop emphasising on my words thanks for remembering but then you don't have to like repeat it again and again.
 i finally understand what is means to fall in love it is to stumble upon the floor but instead of hitting the stony sidewalks love forms an air cushion always ready to embrace and protect but sometimes something hurtful peirces through the vulnerable layer of the cushion leaving a hole in it only with a thread and a needle working together can mend it.
ta da! my blog is done =) like after so long... yesterday was mahjong madness again. i lost this time round. boohoo =( it's alright. det lost to me more than that before. --evil. haha fell asleep at 5 plus woke at 8 plus took a cab home MADNESS. wore my contact lens for too long now my eye is like red and sore. freak shit. went to eat dinner with gymmers today! we went to eat thai express walked around like for ages finding somewhere with no queue ended up at thai express which had long queue. ~sian after dinner we headed down to scotts for desert! yummm... gee... fat alr la.
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author Michele all these while...
February 2011 |
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