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you know you don't have to say until like that its like i'm sincerely asking you for your opinions you guys just think i'm superman and i can do this on my own meh? i'm not perfect ok and sometimes i just don't know what to do so you just have to give me some advice along the way you don't have to like say it like i'm making everything difficult for you and everyone else. i'm not the only one controlling everything and its not easy to find one similar decision that everyone can settle on you are not the only one insulted, i am too. i'm prepared for the stress and everything i'm prepared to give it all i've got but if you guys just give me that shit attitude that gets us no where then what do i have left to bring me and this team through everything.
for this year's sports carnival my class is super enthu and we are gonna WIN it!! hopefully. its been really fun like we all went for different events and just seeing 2t35 on the track just makes me scream. well, i did scream. everyone did well no matter what the results were and that's the truth. i felt that we really did try out best and that's why i love 2t35. and if we really win this year, 1t35 is so gonna like get the glory for free. seriously, we had a REALLY bad senior class and this year our junior class is not much better. that's a really irritating thing. but maybe that just makes 2t35 stand out more. it's because of these things that i am able to see how great my class is. i can't believe how JC would be without 2t35, all that bridge at EVERY break. all that cheering and shouting and supporting during races, games, matches... etc. i can't wait for sports carnival this year. 2T35 DO YOUR THING!
after school today phua and me planned the sponsor stuff then played ALOT of bridge with esmond and terri. left school in a hurry thinking i was late for weijin's birthday. ended up i was like one of the first to get there. after that i cabbed down to shiaw yan's house and when i called them to ask where it was they all didn't answer my phone. i was already on the way and i didn't know where to ask the cab to go so i was like stuck and they still didn't answer my phone after calling like 100000000 times. RAHHH. nahh. i think it was more like 10 times or something. but still... what the hell. so we got there, i finally got to give them to photos! =) after that we went down to the playground. i think we were making too much noise that someone shouted shut up from the block nearby. WAHAHHA. but we were really making ALOT of noise and it was like 10 at night. 0.0 ok. cutting of the cake came. we celebrated gretchen, pin and lauw's birthday. and they had another camo smear game. fortunately i was not involved in this. PHEW. i think i'm getting a slight phobia over out outings. haha. we decided to go up to lauw's place to eat the cake instead cause everyone was kinda dirty and had no clean hands to eat the cake. but we didn't want to impose on him so we left quite soon after. after that i was kinda tired but i headed to amk macs to study. feeling kinda guilty for not studying the entire week and considering that it is alr mid april i should be preparing for mid-yrs, i decided to go ahead being crazy and studied at macs. when i was there, there was this AH BENG that asked me something. at first, i heard "paper" so i thought he needed paper. ACTUALLY he wanted to know how to spell "paper". OMG. kinda shock for awhile before i answered him. felt kinda stupid spelling it to a stranger though. studied till about 3 then i walked back home. was listening to the lbg's wedding perf song and was kinda bianing on the way home. when i got to my condo, i didn't feel like sleeping yet so i went to the pool side and i kinda like bian there cause there was a large space for me to jump ard! HAHA. if anyone saw me they would think i was really weird and abnormal, dancing at the pool side at nearly 4 am. but it felt kinda surreal cause i was listening to my ipod and the place was really quiet and there was nobody there. so i just danced. tmr there's class outing and sunday there's a movie date. so i guess i'm packed for the whole weekend. =)
in the morning, i bluff the gym ppl that miss giam had to say something and asked for a meeting actually the rgym girls wanted to give them a gift! hope you guys liked your gift! the whole day i was just awaiting for the school day to end so that i could go and watch the competitions. i wasn't concentrating in any of the lessons. i couldn't. after school, we went down to ccab. they were all kinda warming up and stuff. took freaking alot of pictures today. some were nice. some were really retarded. anyways when it was time for them to report my heart was beating damn fast i swear it would pop out of my mouth if i jumped too high. when the guys were practising, it didn't go that well. but when the real thing came they did FABULOUS. I SCREAM TILL MY THROAT KINDA HURTS NOW. well done guys! after that the girls went up. the mistake don't matter anymore k? its the process that matters and i'm serious. you guys worked so hard and i can tell that you guys were very nervous. it was still very good! really. I'M SO PROUD OF CJGYM. YOU GUYS DID SO WELL!! i was hoping and praying and wishing so so hard and finally it really happened! thanks for everything. thanks for working so hard. thanks for trying your best. thanks for doing so well and i'm so proud of you guys. you people should be proud of yourselves too. looks like trampers did really really well this year. it kinda like sets this aim and mark for us. i hope the rgym competitions do well too. i'll be really dissapointed if we don't. somehow seeing the trampers do so well, if we don't do well i kinda feel a little guilty. i'm feeling all the jitters in my stomache now. i'm just so afraid of failing, i'm afraid of that dissapointment, not only to myself but to others as well. even if others don't have expectations of us but i do. i'm really scared that we don't hit our goal i'll just break down. hopefully everything goes well. i'll be praying everyday from now till then.
Get in touch with that childhood feeling that anything is possible -- because it is.
went to macs study today again guess i'll be doing that pretty frequently considering its better than staying at home and sleep. but there's something i really enjoy everytime i study at macs after midnight thats that long walks home i know it sounds really stupid. but when the cars pass like really damn fast it makes me feel like i'm slow, i'm in my own world where it seems like time is passing very slowly i have no idea why but i just keep walking really really slowly down that road it gives me so much time to think and yet today there was only one thing on my mind, one thing. the more i thought of it the more i doubt in what i did and the more i feel as if i am uneccesary the abundant, the useless. i don't want to think this way but its just that the more i think the more i recall all those negative situations and when i sort of look at it at a third's person's view, maybe i'm right.
had econs test today... WELL DONE. i'm sure i covered everything on top of that i have PTM tmr and my home tutor is my econs teacher and i fail econs! WELL DONE. shucks. hope she doesn't say anything much about me like how i sleep in class, talk in class, eat in class... blah blah. if she doesn't its a miracle anyways. so i'll just prepare myself for the nagging. RAH. today collected gymtee!! i think its ok. i like the logo at the front. i'm sorry if you don't like it but that's the best i can do. i'm relieve that's settled. had training at sji today i kinda like these kind of trainings somehow i feel like these kind of trainings sort of bond us together more i don't know. maybe its only me. but i like the feeling when everyone's laughing and its like pretty late at night, the place is quite quiet and its like i can only feel us. <3 Gym.
did my 2.4 today! phew... its finally over =) i got a B! YAY wahhh. i really chiong all the way. at least its over. today i went for CJ rugby match at SA we lost. as expected. but it was a GOOD MATCH WELL DONE CJ! after piano lessons i was walking ard and i saw this really cute ____ and i bought it for rgymmers =)) can't wait to give you guys.
Jammed at my sides in the face of reality Being bought and sold like any commodity Exchanged and replaced as time ages Wedged into that neither could be worse Surrounded by crowds hearing the silence Out of many but one that churns The weakened heart that stands alone Nothing of a rowdy rambunctious roam
was dreading the 2.4 right from the first hour of the day after that it began to rain and we prayed and hope it wouldn't stop, but it did. we were like discussing on strategies on how to avoid running on that day, complaining the whole day about the run and ended up our pe teacher did not come today and so we don't have to do. i guess we complained the whole day for nothing still discuss on our chances of not running - retarded. though we were able to skip it today we'll probably still run on wednesday. NOOOOOO. oh wells, its the LAST 2.4 i'll ever run.
after studying the past 2 days i decided to take leave from my books and went to town with yinks and anthea to thread eyebrows - don't laugh amos but i doubt you'll ever see this anyways. met up with yinks first then went to far east to walk walk then when anthea came we headed down to somerset that side. we were craving for shilin so we went cine after the threading, to find out that... SHILIN WAS CLOSED. oh wells, nothing stopped us though, we headed down to marina square to eat shilin then headed to makasutra at esplanade to eat awww luaaaaa and yyyyouuuuu ccaaaiiii. then went esplanade walk walk, went to terrace garden, went home by bus. we took 857. BAD CHOICE. it took a really bothering route. the bus turns into dhoby ghaut that side then goes straight all the way to this erm. really fragrant place then to boon keng. yinks was waving ard this perfume sample of perfume she took today but fortunately for it, we sat the bus till it turn out from cte at yck road. *phew. took 163 with yinks to avoid the crowd of frogs if i walked home from that ulu black black bus stop. tomorrow got napfa 2.4 and i don't feel like running AT ALL. well done. nights everyone.
woke up pretty late today wondering what i should do called up huiren and met her tpy to study. studied for awhile then went to amk to meet yuanshan and jieying. printed photos for the cr pple. wonder when to give them! hopefully there's a meeting next friday (: they went home and i went macs, the new one at amk. felt like a real loner and loser but oh wells, i didn't feel like going home just yet. so i studied at macs till about 2 plus. then i walked home all the way from macs to my front door. gosh. it was a really long walk all the way down that amk ave 6 road. i was reading great expectations when some lines caught my attention... "it sounds like a moral boy out of the spelling book who was so lazy that he fell into a pond, or so fat that he couldn't see out of his eyes." WAHAHAH. i thought this line was hilarious. "no varnish can hide the grain of the wood, and that the more varnish you put on, the more the grain will express itself." i may have interpret it in another way than it should be, but it made me think of so much more. sometimes things on the surface is just not what it seems and all that is ugly is hidden... beneath my daily smiles.
today was a really really long day pe was the last lesson and we had NAPHA. it was not too bad, just what i wanted. i have no idea what goes on in some people brains, seriously. like how these people don't know what i'm thinking either, i guess. you know sometimes the way you people act is not childish, yet not very sensible to do considering you will see each other for a long time to come. there are times that i was irritated, annoyed and frustated by some of the things you do but then i'll just decide to put all that day's events aside. i mean its no point torturing ourselves just for a small matter, but then again those small matters seem to happen over and over again and i don't know exactly what causes it to be like that. michele, calm down and don't let it get to you. just breathe.
Amidst the clouds I pursue In chase of something exotic Violent winds came and blew I yearned in vain for medic My heart built a shell From the heartbreaking rain Words that I’d never tell Of the never ending pain Rays that stole my ambitions Striped me of my vigour and zeal Abandoning my current position Hollow shell it left, harsh and real. Like dead fish in waters Unable to turn back in time Like they say, finder’s keepers Secrets of more than a dime Sometimes I feel like I’m so unrealistic I know it’ll never happen and yet I let that idea slip into my everyday thoughts.
just a weekend update: saturday, 31st march 2007 went for the last and final cip at the centre at chinatown. this time round the kids are better but still there are still those few who irritated you to the core but at least its all over now. after the cip, i went walk walk with huiren at chinatown and we ate at smith street. after that i headed to amos house to study but when i got there, amos, alvan, perry and dom was like eating. after eating they were talking about rugby. FORTUNATELY, there was phua xiao ting there to ensure that i did some studying. that day i read at least like 6 to 7 chapters of great ex. feeling accomplished. =) sunday, 1st april 2007 april fools' day. i got tricked ONCE. most of the other people probably forgot that it was even april fools day. haha. woke up really late then headed to amos house to study. oh wells. i'm sure we did any studying. even if we did it was probably the studying of the suits in that pack of cards. went suntec for dinner with my parents after that. monday, 2nd april 2007 yesterday had tuition. was probably thinking of the freaking proposal half the time. recently my mind seems to float elsewhere instead of being focused on my studies. shit. today pe was slack shit. i walked 4 rounds the track with xiaoting and terri while the rest of our hardworking class RAN 8 rounds. lessons was boring and i swear i tried to keep awake in every single lesson but of course i never did succeed. i shall never sleep at one at night again. we went to bishan stadium earlier and i went to run 2.4. was quite satisfied. i was faster than my last year's napha 2.4 by like 5 secs or something. i think that's quite an accomplishment considering i thought i wouldn't be able to hit within 15 min! fortunately for the run, it took away my blues that was lingering the whole day. today i had many i-feel-fat moments. i'd better slim down or else i'm pretty screwed.
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author Michele all these while...
February 2011 |