Saturday, July 28, 2007
am i a burden?


i always have told myself that
that everything will be fine
that everything will be okay so as long we try
but every single time i get that lousy feeling and everything crumbles within me
all that i have built for the last few months have just fallen in the last few days.
sometimes its not that i don't want to believe in everyone and myself
but when i think of it as something i have initiated, something that i have created and to see it cause so much pain to everyone just makes me feel like a loser.
like i'm just a perfect idiot who cannot handle the commitment and the responsibility and created all the unhappiness in everyone.

everytime i think about the smiles we all had on our comp day, i just feel like if only we stopped there like every year. if only my gym career have ended on that day
we all may be much better now
i'm just so afraid that what i have done is becoming a burden.

Divulged at 9:09 PM